This week I conducted an experiment. I asked girls and guys one question. I was in my bathroom taking my makeup off last night and I began to think about how I felt bare faced in that moment. Many girls struggle with baring our all natural faces to the world, and this week I began to wonder---why? Where do these feelings come from, and am I the only one who feels this way?
So I asked a question to both girls and guys.
“What do you think when you see a girl with no makeup on?”
From girls---real, young, beautiful girls---YOU told me this.
“Wow she’s got confidence to go out with no makeup because I normally don’t.”
“You go girl because you are confident enough to do that cause I ain’t.”
“Hey good for her or wow I wish I didn’t wear makeup too.”
“I wish I didn’t have to wear makeup.”
“She has a lot of self-confidence.”
“She’s confident and happy with herself.”
“She must be confident. She must be comfortable with herself and I get kinda jealous because I’m not comfortable doing that.”
Do you see a common word here? Confident. These are just a few of many, but the answers repeated themselves over and over again. She’s confident. She’s comfy in her skin. Wow, I WANT to do that.
With each girl I then asked a follow up question, the same one for each. I asked,
“How do you personally feel when you go out without makeup?”
Here is what the SAME girls told me about how they feel about themselves.
“Less confident, not fully dressed, judged.”
“I feel gross.”
“Ugly.”
“I’m more aware of everyone around me, like I’m wondering if they’re looking at me or judging me. It makes me feel like I’m not being taken seriously.”
“If I feel like if there are any flaws at all with my skin, I try not to bring any attention to myself and stay in the background.”
“Very self-conscious and constantly worried what other people are thinking of me and feel judged.”
“I feel self-conscious just because being makeup free is still so ‘frowned upon’ in society.”
The same girls. The SAME girls who see a girl out in public with no makeup as CONFIDENT, see themselves in their natural state as ugly. Beautiful, kind, smart, girls think they’re ugly. So this made me look further---WHERE does this feeling come from? WHO is telling us our natural state of being is gross? WHOSE eyes are we afraid of?
My initial reaction was that this idea comes from guys (sorry for the knee-jerk reaction). So I asked guys--What do you think when you see a girl with no makeup on?
Word-for-word here is what they said. These are simply highlights of many who repeated these ideas again and again.
“I think she looks more beautiful now because she has the confidence to do that.”
“I think that every girl is so much better looking without it…just the idea that it’s someone’s natural look is more attractive than makeup could ever be.”
“Quite honestly, nothing special, they just decided to not wear makeup.”
“Sometimes I don’t even notice.”
This actually surprised me. Now I’m not naïve to think that every guy will react how these select few did, but is this not an interesting perspective? The people young girls so often are worried about impressing do not care.
Honestly I believe it's societal pressure that forces us to feel as though blemishes, dark circles, imperfect eyebrows are a sin. We see celebrities or touched up pictures of people with "no makeup" and think that flawless dewy skin and perfectly plucked brows are what everyone looks like without makeup.
There’s nothing wrong with wearing makeup---I wear it. But, I think everything I read from people this week made me think hard about how I feel myself and how young girls in general view themselves. You should do whatever makes you feel the most beautiful, confident, and like yourself. If that’s a full face of makeup and some killer highlight---more POWER to you. But do it for yourself---not because you’re afraid of someone else’s opinion or society’s picture of beautiful. When you look at yourself, truly LOOK at yourself, what do you see and WHO are you trying to please? The answer should be your beautiful self and no one else. So remember, when you feel your most vulnerable and not put together, just know the girls around you see you as CONFIDENT, and the guys around you see you as BEAUTIFUL, no one sees that one red spot you’re so worried about. They’re rooting you on. Embrace it.
