Going into my senior year of college, I’m not going to lie. I am actually very scared. I am scared about what my future will hold. I am scared about the fact I have to start applying to grad school this summer. The thoughts keep running through my head about what the future will be like. It is crazy to think that in a little more than a year I could be in grad school, hopefully. Not to mention another thing that scares me is the GRE. I personally hate standardized tests. They are so hard, and I just hate them so much. It seriously scares me. The problem with these is the fact that they make such a huge impact on whether you get into school or not.
The part of the whole situation that I am the most scared about is the fact that I will possibly be leaving my real home and my home away from home. I’m scared about leaving my family and my school family. The fact that I have to start all over again and make all new friends and possibly learn a new area that I am not used to. My family is my number one fan, and I can't imagine.
Leaving all of my friends that have been a huge part of my life for the past four years, and for some even longer than that, is one of my biggest fears. The people that have been there for me when I was at the highest points in my life and my lowest points. They have been my rock the past four years. They have been there to keep me up at night when I was trying to study. They have helped shape me into the person I am today, and I can't thank them enough for always being there for me. They have been there to cry with me when I needed it and laugh with me as well. It's crazy to think all of that may stop when I graduate in the spring.
The next worry is that I do not want to grow up. I don’t want to have to be an adult. It scares me. When, in college, you get the freedom of being an adult without all the responsibility that goes along with it. The fact that what I spent the last four years of my life studying for determines what field my job will be in and how or where I may live my life is crazy.
At the same time of being so scared, I'm so excited to see what the future holds and what God has in store for me. I'm ready to start my life and not have to worry so much about school and grades. God has guided to me the last four years, and I am so thankful for all of that. He has been there more than anyone in my college career.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
