I know what you’re thinking right now. That this is going to be another article filled with the same happy go lucky story told by some follower of God living somewhere peaceful in the world, but I promise you it’s not. This is so much more. Much more real. It’s about having doubts in your faith. It’s about being angry that no matter what you do nothing seems to work. It’s about giving up on everything you once believed in only to find yourself back where you started. Back to your faith.

I’m not even going to lie to you, this story is about me. And who am I? Well for starters I’m not your usual Christian. I don’t go to church, I’m a liberal, I believe in evolution, and I really don’t like what Christianity had been used to defend in recent years. I’m the “love thy neighbor” type of person. My relationship with God has always been personal. I think that is the main reason I avoid churches, I always find myself feeling distant and removed from my faith by the end of the service.

I haven’t exactly had the best year so far. Without diving into too much details let me sum it up for you in Stress, lack of motivation, and a constant chip on my shoulder that doesn’t want to leave. I have been struggling with my faith for quite some time now. None of you are blind. I know you have all seen the same stories I have; the stories of tragedy, of heartache, of pain. How can a God who loves humanity enough to sacrifice his only begotten son let such heartbreaking things happen?

The answer, as I am beginning to learn more and more each day, is that everything is part of his plan. Every tragedy, every success, every tear, every laugh. It is all a part of his plan. As a college student I feel as if the world is constantly trying to suffocate me. For years I had been forcing myself to get a degree for job security. For a large pay check in my future. I did not grow up rich, and money seemed like the one thing I needed in life to feel as if I had accomplished something. I knew if I pushed myself hard enough, I could go through the four years, get a good job, and just live with it.

That sounds like a good plan on paper, but being realistic, it was probably one of the worst ideas I have ever had. On the day registration opened for this upcoming semester I sat down at a computer in my universities library with the full intent for signing up for engineering classes, but ended up having nothing but Liberal arts classes by the time I finished. I left the library that day feeling as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

The reason I bring this up is because that was the day I finally let God steer me in the direction he had been pushing me towards my whole life. As a child I used to argue with my siblings on what was fair. As a teenager I used to argue with my parents on what was right. And know I find myself explaining to you what I know to be true, That God is not dead. He is living and breathing through me.

If the world had been a happier place. If this year had been filled with less tragedy, I am certain I would not be on the path I am now. By watching the struggles facing people internationally, I found myself sitting in that Library chair making a decision I felt I had to make. What I decided is that I would become an International human rights lawyer. I know, big dreams right? But was it not God who said you can do anything so long as you do it through me. I had been contemplating getting on this path for a while, but told myself the future money would be worth it, that I can help people by donating to charity. I have always wanted to help people, but God opened my eyes enough to see that the best way I can do that is through my words, and through my actions, not by making money.

So I come here before you today to tell you I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I am a total mess most of the time. But no matter what I do, or how hard I try to resist, God has never given up on me, and he will never give up on you. I know what I am about to ask will be hard for some of you but just take a moment and look up. Look at how beautiful this world we call home is. All the suffering, all of the pain and struggles are not made in vein, but are made so the true light of God can shine over the powers of evil that hold this world hostage.

I am not asking you to believe, I’m not asking you to go to church, or to even convert. What I am asking is that you take a leap of faith with me, and to let God into your life for the briefest moment, and allow his love to work wonders. I know from experience how hard this can be. I am trusting in him for the first time in several years, and I have never felt more at peace. Some things are worth the risk, and to me, my faith and trust in God is worth everything.