I have always had trouble with self-esteem. I have almost always thought I wasn't pretty enough or good enough. People would tell me that I looked pretty, and I would tell them to stop lying. I honestly believed that I would never be pretty in my own sight. I tried to do some of the same things as people who I thought were pretty or beautiful; I would cut my hair in the same general way or get clothes from the same places they did. Its not that I wanted to be like them, I just wanted to be able to think that I was beautiful. I would hear people call other people pretty, but most of the time it wouldn't be directed toward me. I wanted so badly to be "beautiful" that I looked right past the beauty that I have on the inside.
One day I was driving down the road listening to the radio when a song named "Flawless" by MercyMe was announced and played. The song talks about how no matter what flaws you or anyone think they have, you are made flawless because of Jesus. When Jesus died on the cross all those years ago, He made a way to not only to be forgiven for our sins, but making us flawless. Chapter 4:7 of Song of Songs says, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." When you listen closely to God's voice, you will hear him talking to you.
Just the song itself opened my eyes, but the music video made it so much clearer to me. Throughout the first half of the video, they show you people who have different diseases and issues. The band starts out covered in paint from head to toe. As the song progresses, the band starts becoming less and less covered in paint. You watch the paint going away to reveal completely white clothes. At this point, the same pictures come up of the people who have the disease or disorder and it becomes gone and the word flawless comes onto the screen.
Everybody has problems and issues that they have to deal with. I know I have plenty of problems and issues myself, but God doesn't focus on our problems and issues. He looks at our hearts and that is all that matters to him. If your heart is beautiful, it will shine through to the outside. 1 Peter 3:3-4 tells us, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quite spirit, which is of great worth in Gods sight."
God doesn't make mistakes; you are exactly the way that you are supposed to be. I have realized that when I believe that I am ugly or not good enough that I am insulting God. That is not something I want to do. God made you flawless and as long as we remember that, we will see the beauty on the inside begin to come out and shine for the world.
