Growing up, I was often asked who my role models were.
I could never name any, but around the beginning of middle school, I finally realized who they were-- the boys of One Direction. They were cute, famous, and had humble beginnings on the X-Factor. Of course, nothing was wrong with liking their music. The problem came when I realized thousands of girls, myself included, were worshipping these boys like they were the only thing that allowed them to breathe.
It seemed like their diehard fan-count grew by the multitudes every night and suddenly, teens all across the globe were professing their love for One Direction.
But soon after, this “love” turned obsessive for many, including myself. I felt like I knew them personally, like they were my best friends. For many, we created this idealized version of the members, so when one of them did something that didn’t fit this mold, we felt betrayed. Many sent death threats to the family and friends of the members, and some “fans” would purposefully post hate on social media in hopes that one of the members would respond.
It became too much for me. I realized that I was glorifying and idealizing a group of boys whom I have never met, and more than likely would never meet. I was too invested in their personal lives to even invest in mine, and the only friends I had were those who had the same obsession that I did.
I truly think the thing that woke me up was John Green’s Paper Towns. The whole idea of the book can be summed up into one of its lines, “What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.” How devastating and harmful it is to believe that a single person could be more than just that, a person. They have their own thoughts, feelings, insecurities, pains, and fears, and for someone who has barely lived their own life at 14 to be fully invested in someone else’s is insane.
And this doesn’t apply to just the famous, and it does not solely apply to 14 year old fangirls. Humans idealize other humans because we want our lives to be better than they actually are. We idealize the “popular” people from high school. We idealize growing up when we’re younger. We manage to idealize everything we are not in order to give our lives meaning. We tend to idealize and glorify these things because they look perfect on the outside. We don’t bother to look beyond the surface to the real substance of the person, so we stay in the shallow end thinking we know everything there is to know.
And it is harmful and devastating to live life like this. Humans are human, and to think expect anything more of them is disappointing. We need to stop acting like celebrities aren’t flawed. We need to stop acting like someone could do no wrong because you have the utmost faith and trust in them. Humans are flawed and for us to glorify them, we are subjecting them to unattainable standards that no one can fill.
Accept that life isn’t going to be perfect. Accept that despite what we want to think, no one is perfect and we cannot expect anyone to be.
