As Thanksgiving comes and goes it gives us all an opportunity to look at our lives and take stock of the things that matter. This is a reflection that is often overlooked we are so focused on the doing that we never get a chance to step back and look at the work we have accomplished or the people who have made it all worth it. This life is a constant to-do list it seems. But right now we have a chance to stop and give thanks.
So, I will attempt to cut through this go-go world by challenging each of you to take some time to think about what we are thankful for. If it's a friend let them know you appreciate their friendship. If it's an activity take some time, make some time to do the thing. As for me, I am incredibly thankful for the people in my life that keep me on track.
Idk what it is about this semester but I have felt like I have less and less time each day. This has forced me to cut out "non-essential" responsibilities in my life. But in doing so I have stopped feeling human. I don't feel like I can just be. I always have another assignment, another task, just another thing to do.
I felt myself fudging on things that truly mattered to just find rest. I was so worn and spread so thin that I came away from each day just so tired. I had no desire to do anything that I didn't "have" to do.
I got to a point where my Faith was falling apart because of this. I didn't see my one on one time with God as mattering anymore. Everything I did revolve around talking about Him and doing things for Him that I thought I was doing enough. The free time I could find should then be spent on me resting not on Him.
I have a heart for ministry and service. I want to make the world a better place one soul at a time. I have a desire to share the love of the Father which changed my life with the lives of all those around me.
But throughout this semester that desire waned. I felt my involvement in ministry becoming a burden, not a joy. I saw it as a job, not a passion. And coupling this with a faltering prayer life was a formula for disaster.
But thank the Lord, He wasn't done with me yet. He reached out to me through a dear friend. Who challenged me to come back. To not just go through the motions, but feel it in my heart. I was able to go back to Christ and sit with Him.
I just remember the Lord of the universe who I had not felt present in months speak to me saying, "Why do you labor without love in your heart? Do you not know I have always been with you."
Now I wish I could tell you that at this moment everything changed and things have been sunshine and rainbows since, but that would be a lie. I'm still and riding around with training wheels. But things are getting better. And for that, I am eternally thankful.