I don’t know how many people this happens to, but for me, I let go of a lot of friends because of it.

For example, you and your friend go to hang out with a guy and maybe your friend likes them and even though they know you have no interest in the guy whatsoever, they feel the need to be mean to you in front of him. It has happened way too many times and I try to really focus on these types of situations to figure out why I get called out at random.

We could be having a conversation about firetrucks and then out of nowhere a girl has to say something about your hair looking bad or something along those lines and it leaves you in shock for a second.

Maybe girls are completely unaware they even do this, and it’s something we should all watch for to be sure we never do.

I have complained to my parents about it too and they jump to the conclusion that it’s jealousy, but I am not convinced that’s the answer. If you are bad at confrontation or it just makes you uncomfortable, you tend to stay quiet when a girl insults you in front of someone. Being shy and usually keeping everything bundled up inside I have finally realized the situation only changes when you speak up.

If you never say anything back and always let your friend or any girl put you down simply because a guy is around it will only get worse. Once I finally called my friend out in front of the guy after she said something mean about me, it didn’t happen again that night. Unfortunately, it happened every other time a guy was around and that’s when I realized it was time to let that friendship go.

Sometimes we must step back from friends until they can grow as a person and it’s not an awful thing to do. I held onto many mentally challenging friendships because I never knew it was okay to step back from them and eventually when they came back into my life everything was so much better.

I believe girls do this to their friends because they want attention, and everyone does in some way. It’s not bad to want that, but it shouldn’t be at the cost of your friends. If you’re realizing you often do this to someone, you should know they probably won’t put up with it much longer.

Watch yourself and try to never be “that girl” who puts her friend down because a boy is around. If you’re the friend getting insulted and you can’t take it anymore, step back for a little bit, everyone is always changing and growing. Eventually, when you let them in your life again, you will realize how much more you will value the friendship.