This Is What Girls In Fraternities Want Sorority Girls To Know About Them

This Is What Girls In Fraternities Want Sorority Girls To Know About Them

She's not much different compared to you.

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For many girls on college campuses, there are co-ed organizations that they choose to be a part of. These include, but are not limited to Greek fraternities, such as the business fraternity, law fraternity, or music fraternity. Unfortunately for them, the word 'fraternity' gets a masculine stereotype and connotation attached, which, needless to say, is really unfair to the girls who are in it. Under the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, a fraternity is defined as follows:

Definition of 'fraternity' from Merriam-Webster online dictionary.Merriam-Webster

Note the third component of the definition: 'persons of the same class, profession, character, or tastes' and emphasize the words "tastes" and "profession." Yes, both guys and girls can be in the SAME PROFESSION. They can also have the SAME TASTES.

Listen up, y'all. there are guys and girls who both like to do community service. Guys and girls who like to be salesmen and saleswomen. Guys and girls who like to be spirited on campus.

They all exist. Stop acting like girls in fraternities isn't a thing. Because it's a thing!

For example, there are more girls in the Alpha Phi Omega service fraternity at Bowling Green State University than guys, but it's still a fraternity by definition.

Here's a plug from personal experience. I've been in Alpha Phi Omega for three full years. After graduating from Michigan and coming to Bowling Green State University, I've been in two separate university chapters of the fraternity. Both of my bigs are girls.

SEE ALSO: Yes, I'm A Girl, Yes, I'm In A Fraternity. I'll Answer Your Questions Now

Sorority girls, let me tell you this: yes, you're in a sorority, but a sorority is a special kind of fraternity whose girls bond and grow together. You and all your sorority sisters have the same character and tastes, just like all the members of any fraternity. Alpha Phi Omega is also a special kind of fraternity since it's co-ed and open to everyone.

The bottom line is this regarding a girl in a fraternity: She's not much different compared to you.

As a group of girls in a sorority, I hope you realize that the girls in a fraternity do the same things you do. They joined a group where everyone in it has the same tastes. A sorority meets the definition of a fraternity. So for you girls in sororities, these girls in fraternities joined their fraternities for the same reason you joined your respective sororities. It makes them feel at home. That's how girls in fraternities feel about the respective fraternities they joined. Also, they do the same things as members of the chapter. They do community service, fellowship, and leadership activities, and also pay dues to prevent being an inactive member.

She's not much different compared to you.

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10 Things To Keep In Mind During Fraternity Rush

If you get an early bid, don't act like you're already in.
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If you ask any fraternity man about his rush experience, he will tell you that it was some of the most fun he had in college. Sorority women will give you horror stories of all the hoops they needed to jump through during their recruitment or how much they were sick of clapping and jumping after the first night. Fraternity rush is much more laid back than any sorority recruitment, especially on campuses that have no formal rush.

I have been involved in the rush process at two different schools, one having a formal rush and one without. While formal and informal rush are two different processes in recruiting, the principles of recruitment remain the same. I have been that 18-year-old kid trying to pick the right organization and I have been the rush chair actively pursuing well-rounded men to join my organization. While fraternity rush is not as stressful as sorority recruitment, there are still many ways that someone can find themselves bid less past bid day. I hope these tips can help an upcoming freshman understand what fraternities look out for during rush and how they can land themselves in an organization that they will love until death.

1. Summer is important.

Some schools don’t participate in summer rush, but if the school you’re attending does I urge you to participate. Some of the most fun I had while rushing was at summer rush events. It gives you an opportunity to not only get your name out there to the guys in the fraternity, but also helps with making friends before you arrive on campus. These events usually include float/canoe trips, lakehouse parties, or just coming to the fraternity house for a party. Not everyone attends these parties so you might be one of seven freshmen at the whole event, which gives you the opportunity to make friends with the guys in the fraternity. When you move in August you'll know exactly who to call. It was a big factor to me in making my final decision on which bid to take. Besides the events at your orientations, Greek organizations will have tables for you to come talk to them. DO IT. Be sure to exchange numbers with them so they can invite you to events in the fall.



2. Don't just wait to be approached.

Fraternity men aren’t perfect; we can’t just meet every freshman on campus. So if you have an interest in joining or getting to know more about greek life, pursue it. Grab your roommate and walk over to the houses, or if you see a guy in the student center with Greek letters on, stop and talk to him. You can’t just sit and wait to be courted like a princess.


SEE ALSO: 22 Politicians Who Were Also In Fraternities

3. Hold your cards close to your chest.

What I mean by this is don’t be forced into making a decision. Chances are you will get more than one bid, but don’t feel like you have to rush to make a decision. Get to know the guys in those fraternities as well as getting to know what they represent on campus as well.


4. Girls can make or break you.

I’m not saying don’t chase girls during rush, but don’t make a fool of yourself doing it. You are always being watched. Not only by the guys in the fraternities but by every girl they associate with. If a girl thinks that you aren’t worth being in the fraternity she likes, she will voice her opinion to the guys and that could ruin your chances at getting a bid from that fraternity. Most Fraternities pride themselves on being gentlemen. If they don’t think you can fit that mold than they won’t ask you to join.


5. Handle yourself at parties.

You will be remembered for your actions at parties. If you are the guy who passes out in a trashcan or breaks a glass bottle in the parking lot, it won’t make you look good in the long run.


6. Don't always talk about parties and girls.

Fraternity life is more than what’s portrayed on TFM. The guys want to know about who you are and what you want to do in your life. They are looking for the best well-rounded men to join them. If you just talk about picking up chicks and partying it doesn’t make the guys think that you are someone who is trying to join for the right reasons.


7. Go to class.

We are in college to get an education. Fraternities want men who can party hard, but work harder. If you skip class constantly and act like you don’t care about school then you can forget about receiving a bid from a fraternity.


8. Don't fall for the prestige.

When I was rushing I had to make a final decision that came down to two choices. Join the fraternity that has a large campus footprint and wins all the Greek awards or join the fraternity where I felt like I fit in and had made great friends. Sometimes the best fraternity for you isn’t the best on campus, but if you find a group of guys that you feel like you will fit in with, then you have found the fraternity for you.


9. Pay attention to who you are rushing with.

When you go to rush events you will start seeing the same freshmen guys that you see every time you go to that house. Get to know them; they could be your future pledge brothers. Don’t always base your decision on the guys you might pledge with, but definitely keep it in mind.


10. If you get an early bid, don't act like you're already in.

Bids can be taken away just as easy as they can be given out. Also remember that after bid day you begin pledgeship. So, just because you have signed a bid card doesn’t give you the right to forget that you are still rushing and have to act accordingly.

Above all else, remember that rush is supposed to be fun, so enjoy the process. Just remember to loosely treat it like a three-week job interview, where not only are you trying to impress, but you are also searching for your best fit.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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Winter Intersessions Don't Have To Be All That Bad

A lot can happen in 10 days.

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Something I think that is important to note here in the beginning is that a lot can happen in just ten days. It may not seem like a long time, but from the time frame of starting a Gender Studies class on Men, Women, and Greek Life and finishing it, we saw the rise of the new Gillette commercial, which touched on men needing to hold men accountable and stop letting the male societal development continue in this never-ending circle. But also, the death of a Sigma Alpha Epsilon brother due to hazing and alcohol abuse, which I might add got next to zero media recognition.

Ten days ago I started a Gender Studies Topics class called Men, Women, and Greek Life. I had zero idea what the class would be when I registered for it since it was just labeled "Gender Studies Topics." But even when the syllabus was sent out a few days before the class started and I found out the name, I still had no clue what we could learn about in this class other than men are in fraternities and women are sororities.

Over this ten-day period, I learned so much from how we "do gender", to culture, to ambivalent sexism, and to intersectionality. To get more specific, I learned a lot about Greek Life in the sense of pledging/rushing, relationships among women, relationships among men, hazing, body objectification, and sexual harassment. But it was about much more than what I learned in the context of Greek Life; it was also a matter of what I learned about myself and society individually and collectively.

I don't want to go too in depth about what I learned specifically.. not in this article at least. I want to focus on the fact that in just ten days, I know more about people, society, the multiple cultures, and the type of men and women we produce in the Greek system than I ever thought was possible to think about. I also saw a lot of the application of these subjects in the real world whether it was through articles, magazine interviews, emails sent out by Greek members, books like TFM, Dirty Rush, and Greek University, or real life/real world pledges dying because of the Greek culture that has developed over time.

It's so fascinating to me that within ten days, in a class of nine people, meeting three and a half hours a day, having a discussion based class experience, I learned more than I probably have in my entire collegiate experience. My outlook, opinions, perspectives, views, and beliefs about certain things have been challenged in the most educating way. I wasn't told I was wrong, I was respected at all times, I was open-minded to the ideas and thoughts that others had. I didn't have time to sit and worry about my grades, or over analyze each class period, or memorize a lecture word for word like I normally would have done for a class.

We watched episodes from the show Greek and Law and Order: SVU along with a movie called Revenge Of The Nerds (which I never would have watched if it had not been for this class). But because we watched these episodes and this movie and then had to analyze the content in relation to our class topic, I won't be able to watch a show or a movie and not recognize that there are really disturbing underlying contexts that we wouldn't notice on any other given day watching our favorite tv show or favorite movie. And believe me- I have already noticed this from trying to watch shows and movies.

What I am trying to say but is difficult to explain is how great of an experience it has been to take a ten-day intensive Gender Studies Class because it was meaningful, powerful, and at times was information that no one likes talking about because it is hard to talk about- especially on a college campus. But because of this experience, I have grown so much as an individual and as a woman affiliated with the Greek system.

So if you ever get the opportunity to take a winter intersession class, especially a Gender Studies class, you should take full advantage because you will go in the classroom on the first day thinking you have plenty of knowledge and leave on the last day thinking about how naive you were at the beginning. And I think realizing you were being naive in the first place shows a greater deal about a person than someone who believes they know it all already and don't need to become more educated about what really happens in the real world.

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