Software engineering is hard. I think it's fair to say that this fact is baseline. It is equivalent to learning a whole new way of thinking, reasoning and communicating. It is a challenging, rigorous field to begin with, without the added expectations and cultural holds placed on women and girls who are pursuing a Computer Science major. What I will say is this:
1. Don't forget that you are here for a reason
Being a woman in Engineering sometimes means being the subject of much unwanted and unnecessary criticism and skepticism on the part of your peers. Many of them will, at times, attempt to discredit you or your ideas but the most important thing to remember is that you are there for a reason. You are in the same classes doing the same work as them because someone saw you and saw the same potential they saw in them.
And you know what?
I think it's even more impressive that you are there. Statistically speaking, girls tend to be less exposed to fields like computer science growing up and so are not coming into college without any previous knowledge but with a desire to learn and be competitive in their fields. Don't let your peer's experience deter you from pursuing what you love, but rather find pride in yourself that you are right on the same path with them, even without that experience, and that you can thrive.
2. Don't sacrifice things you love
College is so incredible because of its offerings to its students. I would encourage you to pursue another passion alongside Computer Science, something that excites and relaxes you, and allows you to meet a different group of people with whom you could socialize and share things in common with.
3. Lean on friends for support
Your friends are your greatest support system. They want to see you do well. Sometimes things get hard and trust me, there is nothing better than a friend, a bag of popcorn, and Greys Anatomy on a Wednesday night.
4. Make friends with other women in your field
Being friends with other women in your field makes for a much better experience. These girls understand what you are going through because, well, they are going through it themselves. They are understanding of the questions you might be afraid to ask others and are a great way to make assignments, projects, and homework more manageable.
5. Don't be afraid to ask for help
There is NO SHAME in asking for help when you need it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Be persistent in seeking out the kind of help you need, whether it's your professor's office hours, or your TA, or even a private tutor. You know what is best for you and your relentlessness in getting the adequate help will benefit you greatly.
Now go on and be a badass. The world needs you!
