I've been with my boyfriend for three years now, and I'll be honest: the first few months, he paid for everything we did, almost always drove me there and back, and never made a fuss about it even though I was perfectly capable of paying for myself if not both of us. But when you're in a relationship for this long, things happen. Sometimes I would have a job while he wouldn't, and vice versa. So there came to be times where I had to pay for dates; and while this annoyed me at first, it came to be a practice that I truly think is important in a happy relationship.

Every time I whip out my card to pay for a date, the server, cashier, et cetera, always makes a face. Sometimes they glare at my boyfriend because how DARE he let his girlfriend pay? Sometimes they give me a look of concern because I'm breaking such an accepted societal norm. Every once in awhile, they don't care or even look impressed. But honestly, ever since I started splitting the cost, I feel a little better about myself.

I've never liked depending on anyone for anything. To be honest, I always feel guilty and a little bit like I owe people after they pay for me. If I choose to pay for myself in a relationship, I know that I am still my own person and I can always feel independent. I'm aware that the feeling of independence in a relationship isn't everyone's priority, but to me, it's almost always number one.

There's also something to be said about the fact that as much as my boyfriend and I love each other, we don't always agree on what we want to do. And someone has to pick. In my opinion, if my boyfriend is choosing to do something with me that he doesn't really want to do and I do, I shouldn't mind paying for it or at the very least paying for myself. At the end of the day, it's really just fair.

This isn't to say that guys shouldn't have any responsibility to pay in a relationship, but there has to be a sense of equality. A relationship shouldn't feel so one sided all the time and whether anyone really wants to admit it or not, money is a really big deal in our lives. Statistically couples are more likely to fight about money than anything else. So if your boyfriend has been having a rough few months with his paychecks, don't force him to scrape together what little he has so you guys can go out if you're perfectly capable of doing it instead. It's going to feel better to be the one taking care of things in the relationship instead of complaining about it and in the end, your relationship will be healthier for it.