In today’s world we are always told to be “chill” and to “not care too much.” The thing is, this is the complete opposite of who I am. I was always told that I have a “big heart.” Being compassionate, caring, generous, and taking on the emotions and feelings of others. Some would say that this is a blessing, but I would beg to differ at times, that this is something that can become very time consuming and tiring. Ever since I was younger I remember always wanting to do the right thing, to help people when I get the chance, and make a difference in someone’s life– even if it is in the smallest way possible. The fact that people think we care too much shouldn’t let us change who we are inside.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

When people with big hearts are told that we “need to chill” we do try our best but its not in our nature. We reach out more times than we should, which may lead to people getting annoyed, but that is not part of our intention. We are just checking up on how things are, we want to see you and we shouldn't feel bad for that. When we don’t hear from people we put the blame all on ourselves, and convince ourselves that we did something wrong. We overthink and tell ourselves that these people probably don’t even think about us, that their day is going on just fine without us. When people don’t reply to a simple text message we find ourselves tossing our phones in a drawer in order to stop ourselves, both from checking it every two seconds and for the false hope of a fast reply. Feeling like we are an annoyance is not something that we enjoy. We just sometimes feel as though we may be forgotten if we aren’t the ones to reach out. At the end of the day I just want fall asleep before I have yet another 8:30 class in the morning, but it's never that simple. I start to read articles and listen to songs that describe exactly how I feel and then get hung up on all the thoughts in my head. I sometimes find myself laying in my bed awake at night wondering why people can't just care or show a tiny bit more effort. I understand that not all people are the same, we come from different backgrounds, and have each gone through different experiences. But would it kill people to meet us even half way?

We give out our second chances like it’s free, not costing us anything. The thing a lot of people don’t see is that it costs us the risk of getting hurt again, and this is something that is hard to get over. I admit that when I first meet someone I very slowly, but surely open up to them. I am the furthest thing from intimidating, rather a very shy and reserved person, keeping to myself. Like a lot of people, the longer I know someone the more comfortable that I feel around them. My walls start to fall and I can finally show them who I truly am. When someone hurts us, we give them a second chance or even more without even thinking twice. We believe that deep down there is good in everyone, that maybe they were just having a bad day. A question I propose is, what is the number of too many chances? Why do we keep giving them out when we know we will get the same result every time? From time to time, they show us the good that is deep inside of them, but why must we always be on the constant search of it?

Being a person with a big heart means that we are willing to do things for others. Unfortunately, we may find ourselves getting hurt in the process, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that we won’t help other people or even the same person that has hurt us in the future if they ever need someone. When someone needs my help I put down everything and go to their rescue. A couple months ago one of my friends went through something in their life that no one at our age should have to go through. I went to something for them to show my support and to let them know that I would always be there for them no matter what it took and whatever the distance. When they saw me they said "I knew that you would find a way to be here." Of course I found a way to be there. Honestly if I wasn't there I'm not sure what I would've done. I guess it is just in my nature to try and do everything that I can for those around me, especially those who hold a special place in my heart. It kills me on the inside when someone in my life is going through something, especially when I can't help out in any way then to just to be there for them. I do things for others because people have been for me when times get hard and I would like to be there for others when they need it as well. There are times when people don’t realize they need our help or even our company. When they finally come to this realization we are granted the satisfaction that we may have helped someone, even if it means in the smallest of ways it makes everything worth it. We try to do small things for people to brighten up even the worst of their days. We may do something silly like get them some of their favorite foods. In reality we would be willing to do much more if it would promise that their rough patch would disappear. Heck, if I could trade my "bad days" for those of my closest friends I would in a heart beat.

When someone is going through something, we too go through the same thing. We feel all of the emotions that they feel, sometimes even more than they do. We may not want to feel this way all the time, because trust me it can become very tiring, but it is just who we are. We feel not only our emotions as well as those of the people in our lives. We try to find the balance between the two but the line is sometimes too thin and unclear to distinguish between. Sometimes we find ourselves getting upset, staying up late, and even having bad dreams about things that are going on in our friend’s lives even though it doesn’t in any way impact our own. If we ever tell our friends about this it is not to cause them any anxiety, but to make them understand that we truly do care about them, maybe even more than they know. Feeling double the emotion on a daily basis is something that we go through more times than not, but it is what makes our hearts so big.

Sometimes it feels like life is a constant contest of who can be the most “chill.” Who can go the longest without reaching out to the other person? Who can make it seem like something doesn’t bother them and isn't eating them up on the inside? Who will be the first person to show just the slightest bit of emotion in any situation? Who will show that the way the other acted towards them actually upset them more than it should? Let me tell you that if this is the contest of life, I am losing just one day at a time.

So this is to the girls with big hearts. Don’t let people try to stop you from being exactly who you are. This is for the people who wear their heart on their sleeves no matter how many times it may get ripped off. There may become times when you wish that your heart wasn’t as big, but don’t give up. To be honest we need more big hearts in the world.

“I don’t know what living a balanced life feels like. When I am sad I don’t cry, I pour. When I am happy I don’t smile, I beam. When I am angry I don’t yell, I burn. The good thing about feeling in extremes is when I love I give them wings. But perhaps that isn’t such a good thing cause they always tend to leave and you should be me when my heat is broken. I don’t grieve, I shatter.” ~ Rupi Kaur