You wipe your hands to get the water off the bathroom mirror after taking a long hot shower. But you're struggling to brush your teeth and having to comb your hair after sounds like torture to your head due to its pounding headache. So you open the cabinet door and find the ibuprofen as your fingers trace along the smooth edges of what you like to call your "Hangover Relief Pill."

You look in the mirror but don't like the person looking back at you. The person with swollen, puffy eyes, and dark circles no concealer could even begin to hide. People will ask you at work why you look so tired and you'll lie and say you didn't get enough sleep the night before. You'd want nothing more than to call out but you've already done it before when you were like this and starting a trend like that isn't appealing.

You manage to get ready and it feels like forever until you're done. Your mouth is so dry you can barely talk and your throat is so sore from throwing up. It was about four times this round. Two times at your boyfriend's friends house where you needed help because you missed the toilet, once on your boyfriend's car and once more back at his place. You've reached a new record, but it's nothing to be proud of.

You don't remember much from the night before. That's because you blacked out halfway through. When five beers and a couple shots seemed like fun in the beginning quickly turned against you. When spilling three drinks on the table just made you look clumsy was really an embarrassment after you hear your boyfriend recount everything that happened that you can't remember. When you go to find your shirt with the other clothes you wore but it's nowhere to be found. Only to be told that you took off that shirt because you spilled Tequila on it after trying to take a shot.

You look at your boyfriend horrified after hearing all of this. You're in the middle of a restaurant trying to eat even half of your meal but each bite is sickening. You can't help but cover your mouth in complete shock from all these details. You don't even know which is worse: being told you did them or not remembering doing them, to begin with.

You have to go to work. But you're sitting in your car with a pounding headache and even with your glasses on things don't look right. You can feel your hands shaking and you tell yourself you're alright and somehow that makes you start your car and drive. You go slower than usual just to make sure nothing happens. Distracting yourself with music as your hands and now legs begin to shake. The pill doesn't seem to be working but you're already pulling into the parking lot at work. With a few deep breaths, you open your door and walk into the store.

You go into the breakroom but as your walking, your legs feel shaky and like they're about to collapse on you. You keep your head down so you don't attract any attention towards you. There's barely anyone in the room with you but they can tell you're not right. But you keep yourself busy and try to sit down as you wait to clock in. That's when you feel it coming. The uncontrollable shaking, the pain in your chest, like a sinking feeling. Your body going from hot to cold, you try to fight back the tears, because you know when they come out you won't be able to stop them.

But you manage to make it through work by some miracle. Even though you still don't feel like yourself and just want to cry or do anything to be rid of this pain, you go back over to your boyfriend's house and eat two slices of greasy pizza and genuinely try to feel better as he holds you in your arms watching shows on Netflix.

And you do feel better, mentally. Physically, you're still sore and in pain and you hope everytime you eat something you don't get the urge to throw it up because your stomach hates you right now for poisoning it that night.

It's okay to want to drink. To enjoy a couple drinks and get a light buzz. But to consume too much in such a little time is not okay or cute. It's embarrassing and can hurt you and your loved ones for having to see you like that. Not to mention you spent the past two days drinking too, even before going to that party. Your father is an alcoholic and you told yourself you would never be like that. The way you're going, isn't helping.

So please, promise me this. You'll take a break from drinking, will no longer get that bad again and actually listen to your boyfriend when he tells you you're cut from having any more alcohol at a party or event.

Because it's better to remember the things you did then have to fit the missing puzzle pieces together from other people's retelling.

Yours Truly,

Hungover Self