I'm sorry I'm not her, I'm me.
All the "yes" answers you wanted me to reply. All the nights you wanted me to eat what you liked. All the nights you didn't like what I was wearing. All the days you spent telling me I wasn't good enough. All the times you wanted me to leave. I'm sorry I wasn't her.
I wasn't the girl who was going to "yes" you to death. I wasn't the girl who was going to eat a salad because she was embarrassed. I wasn't the girl who was going to let you dictate my outfits. I wasn't the girl who was going to let you manipulate my mind. I'm sorry I wasn't her.
To all the days we spent arguing. To all the nights I spent crying. To all the mornings I spent questioning. To all the nights I kept reminiscing. I'm sorry I wasn't her.
When you would ask for forgiveness, I would always blame myself still. I would apologize, I would get down, and I would feel bad. When you would tell me your plans and not give me a say, I would obey it. Sometimes I would question things. I would question if I was doing something wrong. How could you always have an issue with me?
That day finally came. The day I found out everything. The cheating, the lying, the controlling, the yelling, the embarrassment. I remember leaving your house and thinking, "I'm sorry I wasn't her," and that is what stuck with me.
Throughout a relationship, a woman should never feel this way. She should never feel unwanted and replaced by someone else.
So, To The Girl He Wanted Me To Be...
I wish you the best. I hope you make him happy enough to where you don't feel like I did. I hope you feel like the most beautiful human in the world. I hope you smile the biggest your mouth can go. I hope you laugh until crying like when you were a kid. I hope you wear your own style outfits and strut them like you are on a runway. I hope you never change.
Be you, never be the girl he wanted you to be.