Being a girl, it can be so easy to get wrapped up in appearances and how people perceive you, especially when it involves getting a guy’s attention.
“Do I look okay?” “Do you like my hair?” “Are you sure I look ok?” “Do you think he’ll notice my new outfit?” “I really need to make sure I look ok.”
It’s so easy to get sucked into thinking this way. Now I’m not saying that we just don’t need to care about how we look and give up on dressing to impress. I’m just saying that it can’t be our main focus. Focusing on thoughts like these make us find our value and self-worth in the guys we like, date, and even the one that we marry -- it’s something that every woman struggles with! We become dependent upon the guy because he makes us feel wanted, worthy, and loved. But unfortunately, he’s only human, so he is going to mess up, let you down, and even decide that he doesn’t want you anymore. As a result, when we lose our source of love, value, and worth (the guy), we lose ourselves. This can be one of the hardest things to come back from.
So now you may be thinking, “Well yeah, Lauren, I already knew all of that, but what am I supposed to do now? He was my world and now he’s gone.”
Well that’s just it! You’re putting your self-worth in the wrong guy!
“Lauren, you just told me not to put my worth in a guy and now you’re telling me I just need to put it in another one?
Yes! As women in Christ, we can find our worth in Him!
“But Lauren, that’s such a Sunday school answer!”
Maybe so, but it’s the truth! The Bible says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5) Our God who formed the entire world, the stars, the sun, the planets; our God who turned water into wine, healed the sick, performed countless miracles; our God who died and rose again thought of you before you were even a thought to your parents. He took the time to get to know you.
So now you’re thinking, “Alright Lauren, maybe I am pretty special… but that doesn’t change the fact that He did that for everyone.”
True, but let’s take a look at one of my favorite verses: “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) God has plans for every single person’s life and not one of them looks the same. God planned a life and a purpose specific for you! He knows you and loves you and nothing is ever going to change that! He is taking care of you and only has your best interest in mind. How comforting to know that we have a God who loves us so much that He is going to work everything out for us; that He has already planned our life and our purpose and is directing our steps. All we have to do is have faith in Him.
“Alright, I know God made me special, that He loves me, and that He has plan for me, but Lauren, I still just feel so alone since {*insert boy’s name here} left me.”
But you’re not alone! You have friends and family that will support and carry you through anything and everything that you walk through. But even when you’re physically alone and all by yourself, you are truly never alone. Joshua 1:9 says, “… For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “For the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave or forsake you.” Matthew 28:20 says, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
All of these verses have one thing in common: God is always with us and will never leave us. I don’t know about you, but this gives me so much comfort! I know that people are going to walk in and out of my life, but I have a God who will never leave me and who will always want me. He’s not going to change His mind, which is exactly why we can rest in Him and know that we are loved, worthy, and adored. In Him, we know He is working all things for the good of His people. He is truly all we need in this life, and we know that He is never going to leave us, even if we can’t always feel His presence.
“Well okay, Lauren, you might be right, but what do I do now?”
Easy. Two simple little words: Have faith. Don’t spend your time worrying about who you’re going to marry, when it’s going to happen or if it’s ever going to happen. Don’t even worry about who you’re going to date next, what your future looks like, or even where you’re going to be in the next five years. All you have to do is put your trust in God. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” Know that God is in charge, that He loves you, and that He has a specific purpose for you. Know that you are worthy and that you are good enough! Walk with Him every day, and He will direct your steps. Focus on your present and stop worrying about your future. Enjoy the life that you’re living now, and don’t waste it by living in the future. It may not always work out in the ways that we think we want, but know that in the end, God will work things out that are better than you could have ever dreamed. Just trust in Him.
