Sometimes the grass seems greener on someone else’s lawn because it just is. There’s no use in pretending you don’t feel this way. Your life kinda sucks and so do the people in it. What’s worse, you can’t express how “off” everything feels because it makes you sound rather spoiled. Sure, your bills are paid. You aren’t hungry and there’s a place to lay your head at night. There will always be someone who has it worse, but that’s not what you need to hear right now.

Quick question though: why do you feel this way?

This moment of your life is crucial because it gives you insight into how much you have grown and how much hasn’t changed much at all. So if you feel your boyfriend isn’t there for you as normal, when did you notice that change? Do you feel it is on purpose? If you hate your job, why did you take the job in the first place? What were your expectations? Why are you choosing to stay, and what is holding you back?

You hate your job and your clothes and your problematic skin….and god your hair. Your friends are annoying and unsupportive, your boyfriend is ignoring you and your parents never seem to quite get the way your life works now. It’s not your fault or theirs. But perhaps this agitation is rooted in something much deeper.

Dissatisfaction with yourself.

No, I don’t mean just the external things that weigh you down from time to time. I mean feeling stuck in a life you no longer enjoy. You’re stuck in a place that you honestly thought you would have surpassed by now. Who would’ve thought you’d be a senior with no job offers? Or 19 and still haven’t been kissed?

It’s easy to feel that life is this insurmountable climb that you shouldn’t bother scaling. When in reality, life is comprised of small choices and decisions. Don’t focus on the big picture right now – start small.

If you hate the city you live in, how about remembering what you used to love about it in the first place? Channel that same energy and use it to find new nooks and crannies in a neighboring town. If you hate your job, don’t just quit.

Introspection is key here.

Each question you can answer will lead to small actions that paint a larger picture. Your life wasn’t built in a day, and it takes longer than a week to re-start. Sometimes that means saying goodbye to friends you have outgrown and places you used to rave about. Other times it means remaining still in this moment and acknowledging how far you’ve grown.

I won’t pretend to have all the answers. But what I do know from experience is the only way to feel “unstuck” is to change the way you process your life internally.