Gendered Expectations Make It Harder To Express Ourselves
Start writing a post
Student Life

Gendered Expectations Make It Harder To Express Ourselves

Masculine and feminine communication is encouraged by societal norms, which can make it hard to be our most authentic selves.

140
Gendered Expectations Make It Harder To Express Ourselves
Sarah Smith

I'm a communications major. In actuality, I'm a communication management major, which is confusing to explain to those who are not familiar with the program, or in the program, themselves. Communication management, to me, involves learning how to communicate effectively on a more interpersonal level, with a focus on micro-communication. This is a different level of communication than that of how the media communicates messages to us on a macro level. Because my major is so focused on the day-to-day, interpersonal interactions, I find myself pointing out communications theories, in real life, to the people I feel comfortable with. I totally own this nerdy and dorky side of myself, and it does not stop me from applying the concepts learned in class, to my life.

Last semester, I took a gender communication course with one of my favorite professors. One of the concepts we learned that really stuck with me is this notion of gendered speech communities, which translates to more masculine communication on one side of the spectrum and more feminine communication on the other side of it. I have a running joke with my parents when I identify a more masculine or a more feminine communication pattern in a conversation with, that that's just gendered speech communities at it again!

The further individuals get into their selected majors, the more overlap there is in different courses. This idea of gendered speech communities followed me into my communication and negotiation course, which I have written previous articles about because I have come to adore this class so much. At one point in the semester, this professor encouraged the idea of the "neutral no," which is simply saying no, with no emotion and no explanation behind it. More feminine communicators, who have been encouraged by societal norms and expectations, have fallen into this role of following the word, no, with an explanation, an excuse, or an apology.

My communication and negotiation professor brought to light this idea of how women have been conditioned and encouraged to be agreeable and soft, while men have been conditioned to be more stoic and less expressive about their emotions. From the evolutionary standpoint, women are the nurturers, the gatherers, the ones who are supposed to be warm, the caregivers, while men were the hunters, the fighters, the protectors. These roles have been encouraged by gendered speech communicators in modern day society.

Women who go against this societal expectation and norm, who are more masculine communicators tend to be colder, more stoic, can set clear boundaries, have no problem saying neutral no's, with no explanation and no apology; they are not afraid to be direct and to the point, which can sometimes be offputting to people who are not used to that kind of communication from a woman. They can be perceived as an "iron maiden" who can't be hurt and don't express emotions since it's a sign of weakness.

At the end of the day, no matter what kind of communicator you are, we all are human. We all have feelings. We don't owe anyone anything, including explanations or apologies along with our no. Men fall into the trap of societal expectations and norms as women do, with being encouraged not to express emotions or show vulnerability, because it is a sign of weakness, and you aren't a " real man" if you do do that. That isn't fair, either, because, again, at the end of the day, we're all human beings.

We all experience heartbreak, joy, sadness, loneliness, happiness, and should be able to express that and more, and just be our complete and most authentic selves with no shame. We all should be able to say yes to what we want and no to what we don't want without it being an issue of obliging to social cues, norms, and expectations. No can actually be a love word, as it's been said before, and it can be so empowering to simply say it, with no explanation or apology. Those who really care about you and value you will respect your no, no matter how you choose to say it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

936609
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

113435
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

80336
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments