I am a double platinum frequent flyer here at the highest grossing Subway in America. Not only does Wake Forest have this elegant restaurant located conveniently on the main quad, but it is also open 24 hours!

I have never been there earlier than 2 am because I believe Subway footlongs need to age like a fine wine. They need time to breathe before I inhale them in under two minutes. However, some footlongs are found to be much finer than others. Find out which day of the week is represented by your favorite footlong!

MONDAY

CLASSIC TUNA

The dreaded Monday has returned and it does not look good. You’re so tired your lettuce has gone limp. It’s Monday so it's probably raining and your cardboard flavored whole wheat bread is soggy. You don’t even smell good because you overslept and didn't have time to shower: you’re also tuna. Just keep swimming, you’ll find your favorite footlong.

TUESDAY

VEGGIE DELIGHT

You survived Monday and are feeling a bit crisper. You are motivated to be healthy but know that it won’t last long because your idea of going organic is sandwiched between a fat sub of white bread. Just when you think you might actually make it out of the day okay, someone throws oil and vinegar all over you and you smell like a salad bar at a gas station. Don’t give up!

WEDNESDAY

COLD CUT COMBO

Happy hump day! You are halfway through the week and are rewarded with protein and substance. Unfortunately, your newfound motivation to succeed is met with the utter realization that the weekend is not here yet. Your optimistic deli meats clearly included olives as one of your vegetable selections, which explains why you are now salty.

THURSDAY

SWEET ONION CHICKEN TERIYAKI

The weekend is so close you can almost taste it! Your sauce hasn’t made the bread go soggy and it looks like smooth sandwich slicing into the weekend. When suddenly the initially scrumptious and sweet taste wears off and the sour teriyaki reminds you that you are still a whole day away. Keep on trekking. Happiness is near.

FRIDAY

AUTUMN CARVED TURKEY

T.G.I. Footlong! The long-awaited specialty has arrived. And for a limited time only! Time to relish in the sweet cranberry sauce that you have earned. Cut those turkey slices thick because you are feeling large and in charge. You have earned this opportunity to feel fresh, and most importantly…EAT FRESH!

SATURDAY

SPICY ITALIAN

You worked hard so you could play even harder this Saturday. You are feeling bold and unique with your spicy pepperoni and Genoa Salami. You bet your pA$$trami that you ask to be toasted because you are feeling HOT! You’re feeling so risky you throw some banana peppers on just cause. Time to go out with your friends, end up at Subway at 3 am, and put all the other footlongs to sandwich shame.

SUNDAY

MEATBALL MARINARA

Just like mama used to make it. That warm and delicious tomato sauce emulates the feeling of being wrapped in a blanket fresh out of the dryer. You cling to the soft meatballs like they are a Mother’s embrace after falling off your bike. The salty parmesan topping takes you back to the beach breathing in the fresh ocean air. Abruptly, the bitter garlicky aftertaste reminds you that Monday is near. But that warm Italian roll assures you that somehow everything will be okay.