I love my grandma so much. She's one of the most inspiring people I know. She's traveled the world, she raised two kids on her own and certainly helped raised me. I am so grateful for everything she has done for me. I wouldn't be the person I am today without her. She pushes me to be a better, stronger, smarter, independent woman.
However, now at 89 years old, she's lived quite the life, but her brain doesn't really work the way it used to. Also, being 89 she's a bit more old fashioned and she is just hilarious. So consequently, I have compiled a list of the funniest things my grandma has said.
1. I will never find a husband with clown feet like mine
A real blow to my self esteem, but she just wants me to settle down with a nice man, I guess.
2. Every piece of clothing I own is too tight or too revealing
Yes, this also includes my hoodies and jeans. This is also a very frequent thing she says to my mom, she believes "mothers should never wear tight clothes".
3. WHAT? … No, I don’t need a hearing aid
She needs a hearing aid, but you can't really argue with an 89 year old woman. Especially when she can't hear you. Despite the photo above, there is no possible way she was able to read that magazine, but she doesn't need glasses either.
4. She only ever wants one whiskey with ice
This is actually a very valuable lesson because it has taught me that even at 89 years old, having drank your entire life, you can still get tipsy after just one drink.
5. What color are you now?
Okay, I color my hair a lot. Every couple a months I'm usually getting a new hair color, my grandma just can't properly phrase that question.
6. The Kennedy Conspiracy
This one is gonna be long, but it's by far the best. So about a year ago my grandma started to believe this crazy theory that she is actually her sisters daughter from an affair she had with Robert Kennedy. Yes, Robert Kennedy. Nobody in my family has an idea how she got this in her head, but she so firmly believes it. Also, we've done the math and her sister would've been about 4 years old at the time. So, next time I ever have to tell a fun fact about myself I'm gonna say that I am a Kennedy through an affair.
I hope this article allowed you to laugh at some of the weird things my grandma says, or at least at the very old photos of me.
My grandma is one of the funniest people I know, along with being the most inspiring.
