My mind is a little funny.

When I see or hear words there's an explosion of color

Reading a story is like marveling at a painting

And every conversation is a festival of colours.

And Names!

Don’t even get me started on names,

I. love. Names.

Every single one has its own unique color

Names change with how I feel about a person

Matt when we met was a strong deep red like the blood in your veins

But purple like the sky at twilight when he and I stopped speaking

My mind is a little funny

When I was six people would ask my favourite color

And I would respond with “I love you”

As if that answered the question

I didn’t have the verbal capacity or color knowledge to

truly explain that I liked the brilliant shades of blue and green that came together to form the color of

I love you so I was just labeled odd

My mind is a little funny

I’m sure you’re familiar with repeating a word?

When you say a word or phrase enough it loses its meaning

Bowl, bowl, bowl, bowl, bowl

See you’re already questioning if that’s even a word

But to me bowl is still the same orange it was

I used to do it to my friends and siblings when I was young

I could ruin it for them and it would never change for me

Bowl bowl bowl bowl bowl

My mind is a little funny

I quickly learned that I couldn’t be numb to words

Slowly What’s your favourite color was nigh impossible to answer

With every Aquamarine Ugly and Yellow-Ochre Loser Shown to me every day

and seeing the maroons and blood oranges of “Your dad didn’t mean to he was just drunk” still make me flinch

and that combination of blues and greens dimmed as it filled with lies and half truths

My mind is a little funny

By the time I was eight my parents split up

And by sixteen my dad had died

And in between those two sentences my list of hated colors grew

For most repetition makes you numb

Divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce

To me it’s like I’m being stabbed every time and it hurts worse and worse

Terminal illness Terminal illness Terminal illness Terminal illness

No color was safe

Family Family Family Family

My mind is a little funny

I’ve learned a lot

I’ve learned to keep my favourite colors secret

To keep them safe

And share with only the people whose name won’t change hue

I’ve found one so far

And she is the only one that knows that my favourite color