If you've ever met me, you've probably heard one of the many catchphrases I've come to cling to like a squirrel to a bird feeder. I'm from the South. It's what we do. We make up little phrases or euphemisms and it's all good fun. I've comprised a list for all y'all who may never have the opportunity to visit the South to experience our slang and tomfoolery. This isn't an exhaustive list, I just figured 21 was plenty of fun for anyone.
1. "I'm a white belt. Not at Kung Fu, at stealing your Boo."
It rhymes, and it's funny because it's true. I am, in fact, not good at stealing your 'Boo' or Kung Fu.
2. "Skinnier than a beanpole on a diet."
This basically means you're skinny. I don't know how much more of an explanation I can give for this one. It's pretty straight-forward.
3. "Evicted"
Literally any time my roommate doesn't do something I wanted her to do, I began declaring "evicted." Now, it's become an answer to any news I don't want to hear.
"You failed your exam."
Me, an intellectual: "Evicted"
4. "Help, I'm poor."
I'm not really 100% sure if this is from an ancient, obscure vine or if I came up with this, but it's used on a daily basis. Whether I've fallen off my horse, or I'm just too sleepy to function, I'm gonna say it. It's gonna happen. Just brace yourself.
5. "F.S.B."
This is an abbreviated quote from Shek Wes' Mo Bamba. It's literally the first three words, but ya know, I'm trying to keep this article PG, so I'll let you do your own research. I use this lovely phrase on happy and sad occasions. It is a sign of joy, despair, anger, or frustration.
6. "'Mkay."
I say it, I text it, I type it, I think it. It is a mood, an emotion, a way of life, and it is 'mkay.
7. "Don't tempt me with a good time."
Best Friend: "Want to go watch the Ted Bundy Tapes and eat Chinese food in bed?"
Me: "Don't tempt me with a good time."
it's pretty straight forward.
8. "Dang it, Bobby."
I don't know, it's from some show.
9. "I'm an independent white girl who definitely needs a man."
Self-explanatory. Like I can totally make it on my own, but also snuggles are nice.
10. "Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, yee."
When you're just so excited and you want your buddies to understand.
11. "I have a sparkling personality."
Used as a sarcastic excuse for why I lose friends...
12. "Everything is fine."
Only used when everything is not fine.
13. "I'm not trying to be dramatic, but... [insert drama here]."
I am dramatic. I am not sorry.
14. "No to Weed."
It's a motto, 'mkay?
15. "Sure thing, butter bean."
It just means yes, but I like rhymes so here ya go. You gotta say it with a southern accent.
16. "I can't get horribly turnt."
Always my last words before I proceed to get horribly turnt.
17. "Sleep tight, don't let the crippling depression bite."
See? It rhymes. Lol everything is fine.
18. "Crackhead."
A light-hearted insult I use quite often.
Random person with invalid opinion: "I hate Chinese food."
Me, an intellectual: "Wow okay, Crackhead."
19. "I'm clinically dumb."
There is no cure. Thanks, Kevin Hart.
20. "It's canceled."
You can sort of use it like "evicted." It works the same way.
21. "I'll be along directly."
It means I'll be there soon. Don't worry. I am actually on the way, this is not a drill.
