If Your Friends Force You To Change, Dump Them
Start writing a post

If Your Friends Force You To Change, Dump Them

Once I found new friends, I laughed at lunch instead of feeling like I couldn’t eat my dessert.

If Your Friends Force You To Change, Dump Them

Anyone that makes you feel like a different person isn’t worth it. Don’t dish it back to them, just kindly walk away.

I didn’t always have the best of friends, but I was popular so I didn’t care. I was always invited to the biggest parties, I was the one that knew I could get a guys number if I asked, and I never worried about where I would sit at lunch. And when I was young, you know, that’s all that mattered, right?

I’ll tell you what finally made me realize that I needed to dump my friends. More importantly, I needed to dump myself and this awful person I was becoming. One night we were having a huge sleepover and we put on a movie and I realized that my phone was about to die. Naturally, I scrambled over to my bag and I pulled out my charger, and then I tried to find the nearest outlet to me so that I would still be able to text. Halfway through the movie and about three sodas in I really needed to go to the bathroom.

I left for ten minutes and when I returned I had forty text messages. Forty. I wasn’t sure I even really knew forty people. Sure enough, the girl we welcomed into the group not too long ago was giggling. I opened my phone to find out that the rest of the girls had gone through and texted every guy in our class, the class above us, and the class below us that I “had a major crush on him and I didn’t see how I could live another day of my life without him.”

It was time for some SERIOUS damage control. These were people I had to go to school with tomorrow. Shoot, these were some of the people I had to do projects with. Even worse was one of the guys was a lifetime friend of mine and he admitted that he felt the same way…when I did not actually feel that way at all.

But I ignored it. I told myself it was a harmless joke and that I would get over it and the guys would too. The next time I spent the night we were at a different house and decided to sleep in the living room. Not only did I not let my phone out of my sight, but when it finally needed to be charged I slept under a piano…a full, wooden, grand piano because it was the closest outlet to where I said I would sleep. How ridiculous was this going to get?

The last straw was when I went on vacation though. I had taken a week to go visit one of my brothers and after dinner, I checked my phone to find a bunch of text messages from “my girls”. Somehow one of them thought I was talking bad about them because another one of them said that I said that I didn’t think she belonged.

The other messages were all the other girls from the group trying to remind me of comments that I never made in an attempt to convince me that I had said all these horrible things. In reality, they just didn’t want her in the group anymore and they knew I was close to her so they had to get me to agree she was bad news before kicking her out. So here I was being bombarded with text messages to make a decision on if she got to stay or if she had to go. I sat there with my cell phone, on the floor, in the middle of Navy Pier, on vacation, sobbing.

I decided she could stay.

And I paid for it every day.

Instead of being kind like people should be, I was called a whore and a slut for about a month. Rumors were spread about me making out and doing “more”, whatever that was in middle school, with boys that I didn’t even talk to. I was sad and angry and I wished I had made the choice to simply kick the girl out of the friend group so that I could stop suffering from all the mean comments.

That’s when it clicked.

I am a good person. I don’t care what other’s think because as long as I am keeping up with my moral standards than who what other people think! I don’t need people in my life that would mess up every male friendship I have over a texting prank. I don’t need to sleep under a piano in order to make sure no one takes my phone. I shouldn’t have to be called a whore because I chose to be friends with a girl that doesn’t fit other peoples standards.

So I dumped them. I politely walked away. It ruined my so-called “reputation”, but you know what, I was finally happy. I was finally doing something I was proud of. I walked away. I had no friends. I was shunned by the guys that hung out with them. The girl I voted to keep in the friend group, stayed with them to keep up her “image” and I was left by myself.

A week later I talked to the girl who sat next to me during gym class. At that moment, I became exactly who I was supposed to be all along. We bonded and I told her that we should sit together at lunch. Then we met more people and before I knew it our table was completely full and I laughed at lunch instead of feeling like I couldn’t eat my dessert. I have since met so many people.

I started going to church and actually listening to the scriptures. I started to realize that getting homework done and trying in school was important. I found that having someone that you can talk about your crushes with is important. I know now that having someone that will walk through life, no matter how rocky, with you is needed to survive this crazy world. I learned that it’s more important to have a friend that will notice when you are sad than someone who will make sure you’re listening to the newest music in order to keep up with the trends.

So if you start feeling yourself acting ridiculous, you probably are. You shouldn’t have to change yourself to be someone else’s friend. Friendship comes from two people understanding each other even when they don’t agree with each other. It isn’t about harmful pranks. It isn’t about name-calling. It isn’t about feeling anything, but safe and happy. Walking away may be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but by golly, it will be worth it.

If you have to change your clothes three times before you think you won’t get called out - If you have to make sure you’re always the life of the party - If you are given the choice to be mean to someone or get a scarlet A put on you for no reason - ALWAYS, ALWAYS, chose to have rumors spread about you instead, ALWAYS chose to be nice, ALWAYS live up to your moral code. Once you have met the right people, the rumors won't spread because you’ll have people on your side that knew the real you. They will shut down the rumors and they will be there to hold your hand or buy you a much needed slushy on the ride home.

At the end of the day, you have to live with who you’ve become. Always chose to be nice, always chose to be considerate, always chose to stand up for others. It may take a week of feeling like you will never come out of this black hole, but God will reward you with a girl in your gym class too. So don’t quit, don’t give in, don’t stop being nice no matter what. You will be rewarded. Just keeping going one day at a time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Where To Find The Best Coffee Drinks In America, According To A Survey

Here's the coffee shop where you should get your morning brew.


Coffee, for billions of people, is one of the only things that can get us out of bed (after hitting snooze a time or two), especially in 2020. Because, if we're being honest, is there anything that beats a quality cup of coffee on those mornings when all we wanted to do is roll over and go back to sleep? The answer is no. And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America.

According to LiveShopper Sassie's Coffee Project survey, when it comes to chain coffee shops, there are definitely preferred spots you'll want to hit up for your go-to order — whether you order the classic, frozen, or flavored coffee, an espresso, tea, or other. To figure out the hot spots, 1,000 coffee drinkers across the United States took to LiveShopper's mobile app, PrestoShopper, to answer various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Odyssey Template: 25 Questions For My State's Elected Officials

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We fought for these ideals, we shouldn't settle for less."


Whether you're interested in how democracy works, how stop signs get installed, or anything in between, this is your opportunity to ask questions. This is your opportunity to show current and future members of your community what, in your opinion, is most important as your town, city, and state are trying to put the best, most effective practices forward.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Survey: Which Issues Are The Most Important To You In The 2020 Election

If you're a first-time voter or voting by mail for the first time, we want to hear your story.


The general election on Tuesday, November 3, 2020, will decide not only the next president of the United States but also which political party controls the House of Representatives and the Senate. Young and first-time voters will play a crucial part in determining the result.

Keep Reading... Show less

Articles To Write If You're All About Saving More Money, And Waking Up A Little Bit Earlier

Get your day started right — and keep that budget tight.


For all the young professionals, parents, and students out there who've been working, learning, or even teaching remote — 2020 has likely been the longest year of your life. If you didn't know (sorry), we've been locked down for over 200 days now, and chances are, you are ready for it to be OVER.

Keep Reading... Show less

Who is ready to fa-la-lall in love with holiday-themed sex toys that will make you jingle all the way? If you're biting your lip and your legs are quivering with excitement, hold on to Santa's sleigh reins because there are so many ways to celebrate the season.

Festive sex toys are here to bring you some holiday cheer. From candy cane flavored everything to bright red bows, there is fun for everyone. Feel free to treat yourself or add these 15 festive sex toys to your wish list.

Keep Reading... Show less

How Much Of A Coffee Snob You Are, Based On Where You Live

Your state may determine how picky you are about your coffee.


When it comes to coffee, everyone has different criteria for what goes into their "perfect cup." Some caffeine lovers, though, are extra particular when it comes to their beloved beverage. One survey found that the state you're from (or the one you live in now) may play a part in determining how much of a coffee snob you actually are.

LiveShopper Sassie, the company behind this Coffee Project survey, received input from 1,000 coffee drinkers via their mobile app, PrestoShopper, to ask various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less

7 Reasons 'Hubie Halloween' Is A Must-Watch Halloween Film For October Movie Nights

Just knowing it's an Adam Sandler movie, you can assume it's funny but very ridiculous.


"Hubie Halloween" was just released on October 7. It follows Hubie Dubois in Salem, Massachusetts, on Halloween. He patrols the town to make sure people are safe. He's the kindest and caring person in the town and also the most bullied.

This poor man is scared of everything. He screams when he sees scary decorations and when people prank him. Definitely a laugh, but when I watched it, I felt bad for him. The one person that pulled at my heartstrings is Violet Valentine, a woman he had a crush on since high school. She's super nice to him and stands up for him when she can. It was great seeing someone, other than his grandma, on Hubie's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

While this is my first ever presidential election, I have voted before in others, including at least one other "off" year election. I can honestly say that one of the things that made voting for the first time interesting was that I personally don't really identify myself with either party completely.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

7 Ways You Can Volunteer Virtually In The Middle Of The COVID-19 Pandemic

Use that anxious energy from dreading the rest of 2020, and put it towards volunteering


Life has shifted from face-to-face to face-to-screen-to-face this past year. There's no need, though, to wait out the pandemic to make a difference from home. Rather than spending the unexpected free time the rest of this year dreading each day, use that same energy towards volunteering from the comfort of your bed or couch or patio.

Here are seven ways you can volunteer safely and virtually during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Hilarious Netflix Specials To Binge If You Need A Laugh In 2020

Netflix specials are single-handedly keeping my spirits high.


I cannot tell you the number of times that I have re-watched these comedy specials over the course of the last seven months.

What I can tell you is how absolutely great these comedians are. They bring me joy when I am sad, bored, or wanting to tune into something while I work on school or my virtual job.

Keep Reading... Show less

"Emily in Paris" is one of the newest Netflix original series and it began streaming on the platform on October 2.

I knew this was going right to the top of my watch list because I have a serious girl crush on Lily Collins, it's from the creator of "Sex and the City", and the plot feeds directly into my "Mamma Mia" fantasy of just hopping on a plane and killing it in a whole new country. Not going to lie, the series has its slightly cringe-y moments, but that honestly makes me love it even more.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Songs We All Need To Add To Our Fall Roadtrip Playlist

This songs are guaranteed to make you feel like the main character this fall.

Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash

One of the best feelings is driving with the windows down. Listening to the right song makes that experience even better. If you want to feel like the main character in your own teen movie, listen to these feel-good classic songs right away.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments