To The Friend Who I Thought I Would Grow Old With,
It still makes me sad to think that we don’t see each other, we don’t laugh, and we don’t even speak. There have been so many times where I just want to pick up the phone like I always did and go on and on about the things going on in my life, but I don’t. You used to be the person I would talk to on the phone for hours with about absolutely anything. Now, you are just a person I used to tell everything to and are the person who doesn’t even know me at all anymore.
Writing this open letter to you feels so strange because I can’t even remember the last time that we spoke. We used to speak for hours on the phone even after we saw each other all day because we were best friends. It is still difficult trying to accept the fact that we were best friends and that I can’t come to you with my problems anymore. It is sad that when you happen to come up in my conversations I mention you as someone I used to know. It is difficult for me to remember that you are not my best friend anymore, but it is even harder to grasp the fact that you aren’t even my friend. You were the one person I knew without a doubt was going to be next me on my wedding day and as I continue to grow older I realize that person won’t be you.
Looking back now, it is crazy to think that we were inseparable from elementary school to high school. We both had so many dreams that we wanted to watch each other accomplish one day. Then again, they were just dreams, but to me, those dreams included you in them. Each time I completed one of my goals that I shared with you, I wish I could call you and tell you that I did it. You are still that person that I wish I could share everything with, but I know that times have changed. Part of me hopes you miss me, but the other part knows that you probably don’t care. I wish that things weren’t this way and we could just move forward, but I know too much time has passed for things to ever be the same one-day.
Even though I hate to admit it I am still bitter and hurt that we can’t be friends anymore, but I do want to thank you. Thank you for showing me the fun things in life, for supporting me when no one else would, for constantly encouraging me, and for giving me some amazing memories. If anything, I am thankful for after everything we have been through it was the memories.
To this day, I wish I could still receive that explanation that you said I deserved, but I know it is time to let go and know that I will never receive it. I guess now I realized that in our friendship you were my best friend and I wasn’t yours because best friends would not just drop you no matter the reason. For a long time, I blamed you for everything because you refused to acknowledge the pain you caused me. I still hope that one day I will know the reason why, but I know by then too much time will have passed to even have any significance.
I hope that everything you dreamed of and strived for will work in your favor. If there is one thing I hope you know is that I want you to know is that I hope you don’t regret anything and are ecstatic with where you are in your life. My other wish is that when you think about our memories and tell them to people that make you smile and wish that you had done things differently. I still will always want the best for you and I hope that you are happy with every aspect of your life.
Sincerely,
A Person You Used To Know
