Dear Friend,

Throughout middle school, you were always so nice. Only once did I ever see you in an actual bad mood. You always smiled, always poked me, and cracked jokes. Your jokes had an acquired sense of humor, but I laughed. During PE, I would always play volleyball or walk around mingling with my friends. Not you. You ran. Boy, you could run. It was inspiring because I would not run if you paid me $1,000. I had a sedentary life, and it was great that you were so active and tried to stay healthy that way. I told you how good it was that you were doing that.

In high school, I didn't see you as much, but we talked every now and again. Come to think of it, I didn't see a lot of people I went to middle school with once high school started. We all had different classes, made new friends, and led different lives. Every time I saw you I would say hi. You would do the same.

You got a girlfriend in high school. I was so happy for you! You came to me when there were problems with her, and after looking at the messages I sent in response, I wish I was more consoling. From that I've learned that I should help someone who comes to me and shows sympathy and not be as awkward. I was an awkward teenager. You were extremely mature. I will never forget how extremely mature you were.

In college, I saw you once over the summer of 2016 when I worked at Ingles as a cashier. You came in. It was so good to see you! I told you that. You looked so different, actually. You looked good, but you looked different. I barely remember that moment, but it happened.

Sometime a year ago, maybe less, I read (or I thought I read) that you're style had changed a lot. Your weight wasn't the same. Your personality was the same, but on the outside you were completely different. I thought nothing of it, said "Wow. Really? Crazy how people change," and went on about my life.

My friends were friends with you, and we all remember you. I mean with a personality like that how could we not? We could never forget you. You know, it's super hard to have to call your friends and say "Hey, you know what happened to so and so? He killed himself two days ago." It's nerve-wracking to have to call your friends from high school and tell them of a tragedy no one ever saw coming.

We loved you. We love you. I just wish we were there for you more. I wish someone could have noticed your pain. I wish someone could have saved you since you couldn't save yourself, but that's how we learn. We learn to check up on people, we learn to be more sympathetic, we learn to notice the small changes one's personality has throughout time and take caution, we learn to make time for people. All we can do is learn. It's a shame we only learn when mistakes are made/something bad happens, but unfortunately, that's how life works.

Your smile will never be forgotten, and neither will your heart.