1. The time I said I wasn't feeling well

We were all just relaxing, having a few drinks, of course. But, Jeff was drinking like a lot more than everyone else, and before any of us could stop it he started mentioning what's happening at the border and how he felt about it, at which point my political senses tingled and I knew I had to get up and leave. I immediately said "you know what everyone? I'm actually not feeling that well. I think I better go." Then I quickly left, leaving the rest of my poor friends to listen to Jeff's political ramblings.

2. The time I said my dog was sick

This sort of thing happens way more than it should with Jeff. Once again, a bunch of us were hanging out, having what we hoped would be a fun night in. I saw Jeff drink a few shots, which did make me a bit nervous. He didn't say much at first, so I thought the night might be saved. However, he then came out of nowhere with his opinions on climate change, and I knew the night was ruined. "You know what everyone?" I said. "I forgot to mention that my dog threw up this morning. I should really go check on him." Then I left without another word. Little did they know that my dog had not, to my knowledge, thrown up at all that day.

3. The time I left my friend's place right after arriving

Friends, fun, and a little bit of alcohol. Those are the ingredients for a good night. Notice how Jeff and his political ranting were not included in this list. Nonetheless, he would not stop. This time, I had barely walked into my friend's apartment when the first thing I heard were the words "gun violence in America" leave Jeff's lips. "Not tonight," I thought to myself, despite the fact that it is of course a very relevant issue. I immediately left the apartment. I didn't even say anything to anyone, I just hoped that I had not been there long enough for anyone to realize that I was there in the first place.

4. The time I said I had to be up early

"Hang on everyone, can we please just take a moment to have an in-depth discussion regarding the overall platforms of each 2020 Presidential candidate?" We were all hanging out again when I heard Jeff ask this question. "Come on, Jeff. Not now," I muttered under my breath. Everyone was too polite to ask Jeff to stop discussing politics, so what followed was a discussion of the overall goals of each candidate, exactly what Jeff wanted. About halfway through, I told everyone I had to be up early for work tomorrow and then left without another word, trying to get as far away from Jeff's political discussions as I possibly could.

5. The time it was Jeff's birthday

Then came Jeff's birthday party, so of course he had way more to drink than he should have. I just hoped that he would be able to refrain from discussing politics, at least on his own birthday. I was wrong. The night basically consisted of Jeff thanking everyone for coming out to celebrate, followed by some sort of random political comment. This happened over and over and over. When he started discussing the works of Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau and how he believes they would interpret today's political climate, I had finally had enough. I quickly said "happy birthday, Jeff" and then went home.