It seemed like a world away. I kept thinking that Earth would stop turning, time would stand still, and I would never start my freshman year of college. Summer lasted forever, but finally, the day came when my parents and I packed way too many "needed" supplies into a van and drove to the beginning of the rest of my life. College ... it seemed so far, and now it was here. It was happening, and I was not prepared for it. I expected so many things, so many bad things mostly. I expected to be stuck as a small, little, freshmen for an eternity, and I would most likely not be so hot on my school, transfer, and start again. Really, I thought that was my future ... that was my luck.
I got something more than my luck would permit, though. I received something better.
Freshman year has flown by. It has sprinted when all I wanted to do was stop and take it all in. I found friends, I discovered the kind of person I may become, and for every bad memory, I made two good ones.
I learned so much, had my eyes opened, heart broken and fixed, had the most fun of my life, and even though my freshman year is almost over, I realized that this is still only the beginning of the rest of my life. Yes, college has already changed me. Nonetheless, I still believe that there is still more for me to learn, to experience, to love.
Freshman year was the light to a sheltered world, and now that it has blinded me and made me burn in its rays, I am ready to follow the changes it has suggested. And i bet there will be many more changes to come.
Change 1. This is not high school. Don't act like it is. I saw fellow students stuck in the sheltered, wonder years, skipping their high school friends more than talking to their new possible best friends. And I fell for it my first day, too. I didn't talk to anyone new, despite having no home friends come with me to my school. I settled for people just being nice to me. The first lesson I learned is that college is so much bigger than I thought. And people do not care. Just saying "hi" can spark a great friendship, or just a good classmate, but it is something. High school friends are great, but we got so used to staying in the same group. Freshman year says "f**k it, now go make some friends, and if you look like an idiot, you don't need to talk to them again." I have only began to make more friend groups, and I plan to continue to grow. Yes, I will have a foundation, a home base of best friends, but that does not mean I pin myself in. I need to just get out of the high school funk, and go!
Change 2. Not everyone is going to like you. You don't have to like them back either. Freshman year introduced new friends, but it also introduced people I just did not see eye to eye with. We didn't click. And I am learning that it is fine. It is okay not to be friends with everyone. No one is that lovable. I was so used to just being nice to people, and that doesn't mean that I became a b**ch in college. I just let myself know that if someone does not like me, and makes me feel bad about myself, then they are not worthy of my friendship. And in college, you do not have to make drama. You just move on, be cordial, and live with it. It still hurts when I hear that I am not liked by someone, but I would rather like myself than be fake.
Change 3. Have fun, but don't regret it. Yeah, I am a freshman in college that was a good girl in high school Still am now, but I am learning to have my own brand of fun I really didn't want to have before I came to school. I have this freedom now. I am young too. It's time to take it in since it's going so fast! But that does not mean that every weekend, I hate myself for mistakes I don't remember. I have fun, but I remember it. I savor it. And I don't think less of myself for having the time of my life.
Change 4. Grades don't mean everything. Really, they don't. Despite being in the honors program at my school, I have stopped beading myself on not getting A's. I know that work is harder, and as long as I try hard and set doable goals, I will do great with grades. Also, I learned to invest my time in my friendships, activities, and even nap time. Stressing is for another time, but not for beautiful days after class when your friends just want to have some ice cream and chill. Also, I am allowed self time to watch Netflix, too. Breathing, and relaxing are great things. Embrace them.
Change 5. It is okay not to know about the future. I may think I know what I want today, but tomorrow, it may all change. I'm young. I can change my ideas, my social views, my majors, my school, my friends, and still find a way to remain. We can change whenever we want. We can be unsure. Being sure is for another time, but right now, I am just trying to stop being so strict with myself. I am going to let my future unravel before me, and just ... go with it.
All in all, I have a long way to go to find out who I really am. However, every day I live in a dorm, every new person I meet, and every exciting experience I take in, is another layer to me. And I am going to keep building on myself. Freshman year has only just started the process, and I cannot wait for what the rest of my college career holds for me. I have never been more nervous. I have never been more excited.