After what seemed like a never-ending four years in high school, you are ready to start the next chapter of your life. Your text books have been purchased at ridiculous prices, your belongings have been moved out of your house and crammed into your mouse hole of a dorm room, and you are itching with excitement for the next four (but probably five) years in this wondrous new place. Your first quarter will be filled with beauty and fun as well as quirk and culture shock. The following are a few common experiences that almost all college freshmen will relate to at some point during their first quarter.

You attend your first class, and your professor is not quite as old and ugly as you were expecting.

You're hit with your first tremendous reading assignment, and you realize that academic material is no longer censored like it was in high school.

After your late-night club meeting, you have to walk across campus by yourself, but no worries. Your mom has prepared you with pepper spray, a rape whistle, and a plethora of warnings about the frequency of rape in college. So as you walk alone in the dark, you are mentally prepared to dish out something like this at any given moment.

Finally it's the weekend, and everyone is getting ready for the venue like

You arrive, and you've never seen such debauchery in your life. The friends you went with aren't doing so hot, and you start feeling embarrassed for them.

You've spent the weekend procrastinating, and your rough draft is due at midnight, so you start writing it at 11:50pm.

You just got hired at your first on-campus job, and almost all your earnings are being put into savings for that monstrous debt you're going to accumulate over the next few years. Your friends who don't even work always want to go out to eat as if they have an endless supply of money.

Your dorm is pretty much a cesspool of germs, and you feel like you spend at least half of your quarter sick.

Adulting turns out to be a lot harder than you anticipated. You're expected to know things like your social security number, so you have to call your mom like:

When your parents come to visit you, they bring you non-dorm food. Bless their souls.

As the quarter progresses, your procrastination tendencies worsen, and you start feeling your responsibilities catching up to you like

The freshman fifteen hits your friend hard, but somehow, only in her boobs.

Finals week has come. About 50 percent of your grade is on the line, so you head in prepared for battle.

At last, break has arrived, and you finally get to catch up with family, high school friends, and pets. Most importantly, you get to sleep in your old bed again.