"OMG Becky, Jake from Zeta Eta Theta just texted me.. What do I say?!"
"Uhh Frat boy?? HARD pass. They only want one thing."
STOP.. Just as you don't want your Uggs and Starbucks to classify you as a "white girl." It's not fair to stereotype all frat boys as not being "husband material." Yes girls, believe it or not the boy in your DM's absolutely has a chance to be your happily ever after! Don't lose hope! So how did I turn a crazy frat boy into my fiancé? The truth is, I didn't. While my honey has so many wonderful traits that come straight from his core, I would be lying if I said his fraternity didn't have a part in making him into the man that will stand at the end of the aisle on our wedding day. It just took the right person to bring that out of him, and I guess that was me.
Believe it or not grandma, fraternities are so much more than lit parties and regrets. Because of his fraternity, he completed more service and volunteer hours than anyone I know. His pledging secured friendships of a lifetime and gave him the true meaning of loyalty and perseverance. He spent hours upon hours studying with his brothers in the basement. His brothers stood by his side while he worked his butt off to earn his degree. For a lot of people, membership in a fraternity is a resume builder and can even help them achieve the job of their dreams! Being in a fraternity also teaches a lot of responsibility that the average student does not get. If they are on the fraternity executive board it's possible that they are in charge of the fraternity's finances, public relations in the community, professional relationships with the alumni, or even assigning "chores" to his brothers to keep the house clean! If you have the same pleasure as I do of spending your life with a former fraternity house manager, then please don't forget that they DO know how to clean and that they've gotten good at assigning it to other people. (yes, I'm talking to you!)
One tip I can give is to enjoy the Greek life with him. (as much as you can, geed) Get to know his brothers, just as you would his own flesh and blood! And no, this isn't cheating or suspicious, his brothers will respect your relationship without hesitation. They have his back, and now they have yours. Participate in their fundraisers and philanthropies. Don't just be around when there is a party. Go to his formals, and actually be nice to the other girls that are there. One of the best things about dating a fraternity boy, is the fraternity girlfriends! The real housewives of "you fill in the blank." My maid of honor is one of my fiancé's brother's girlfriends. While you should enjoy Greek life with him, don't overdo it. Allow him time with his brothers without making him feel guilty. Remember they are just as important to him as you are. College doesn't last forever, but if you made it this far, you might.
Lastly, what's even more important than respecting the brotherhood is respecting yourself. There are a lot of girls who step into a fraternity and see how many different boys they can kiss in a night. What you find out while being on the "inside" is that.. (big shocker) NO BOYS WANT THAT!!! So ladies, have some respect for yourself. If you let yourself be a one-night stand, that's exactly what you will be. The moment they realize that you are easy, is the moment that they realize this is not a forever thing. This is not because he is in a fraternity, this is any boy in the history of ever. How can you expect a boy to respect you if you don't even respect yourself? Don't make the walk of shame, make the walk down the aisle.
In the end, it's what boy you choose. There may be some bad eggs here and there. Not every boy can be your soul mate, and you certainly can't make anyone be the love of your life. What you can do, is respect yourself and earn the respect from them, everything else will fall into place if it is meant to be. And remember, you can take the boy out of the fraternity but you can't take the fraternity out of the boy.
PS: Prepare for one heck of a wedding dance!
