"Damn it. That was my favorite glass." I looked down sorrowfully at my young son. "I'm sorry I bumped into you, mommy. I didn't mean to." His big brown eyes looked into mine and my face softened. "It's OK sweetie. It can be replaced. Now, go run around outside. There's no room for that in the house." He picked up his plastic monster truck and skipped through the back door. I finished the dishes and went through the threshold that separated the kitchen from flourishing backyard. It isn't big. But I know Tommy sees the yard as long as a football field, just as I did as a child. I slouched into the fading chair, worn from the sun, and propped my feet up on the smooth glass table. The light breeze whistled through the trees as my Tommy frolicked in the yard. I love my kids with every inch of my body and soul. The simple act of their being continues to stitch up the broken pieces of my heart, after the passing of my husband and their father.
They are my prized possessions.
They have so much potential.
The back door opened and out came my daughter, Elizabeth. God, I remember when her nimble fingers couldn't even reach the doorknob. "Hi, mom!" She hugged my neck and stood sheepishly beside me. Knowing the look of that face better than the back of my hand, I said, "OK, tell me what you want." She saw her opening and asked to get lunch with her friends. "I'll be super careful on the drive there, OK? We just want to try out that new bakery downtown." It seemed harmless enough, so I agreed to let her go. "Just don't be long, in case I need the car for me or Tommy." "Thank you, mom!" This time, she kissed my cheek and pranced back inside. Minutes later, I heard the family car crank up and pull out of the driveway. Tired from errands, cleaning, and the soaking sun on my tingling skin, I began to doze off.
I awoke with a startle at the sound of a heavy knock on my front door. I judged by the position of the sun, it was mid-afternoon and Tommy was no longer playing out in the yard. I walked inside and called out, "Tommy? Tommy?" I found him looking out the window near the front door. "Mommy, why are there policemen outside?" My heart plummeted into my stomach. What possibly could they want? "I don't know, sweetie. Will you go back to your room for me?" He looked at me wearily and then darted off down the hall. My hands, now moist with sweat, gripped the doorknob and opened the door. Two police officers, a man and a woman, greeted me and asked me to sit down. It became hard to hear over the overbearing sound of my racing pulse. "Ma'am, are you the mother of Elizabeth Jane Constance?" I forced my head into a nod. "We are sorry to inform you that your daughter was involved in a car accident and was found dead on the scene."
In that moment, I felt all the blood rush from my body. Goosebumps formed on my skin. Tears flowed steady down my face. All I could hear was my heartbeat. And I cried harder knowing that hers wasn't beating. I don't know how long I sat like that. Tommy shook me from my comatose state. Asking what was wrong. Elizabeth. Elizabeth went to visit daddy. A drunk driver hit sissy. He didn't mean to.
