November -- this cold weather not only blew in a flurry of snowflakes, but a plethora of holiday magazines and catalogues with all the latest party dresses to ooh and ah over. This month marks the onset of Greek community semi-formals. Choosing dates and dresses can cause one's head to swim, but after just barely surviving last month’s hayride headaches, I was wondering if guys experience the same thing? Putting the catalogues aside I decided to pick up my phone instead and, just out of curiosity, I called up a few single guy friends to pick their brain about the whole semi-formal, date party experience. We know what we, as women, go through, but what goes on in the ever puzzling minds of men preparing for semi-formal?

My first guinea pig was my friend, a fellow journalist here at The Odyssey and IFC member, Pi Kappa Phi senior Josh Velasquez. 

“There are two guys in the world; guys that put forth effort and guys who don’t,” Velasquez said. “But both feel anxiety.”  This is good to note. Guys have worries, just like girls. “Every girl wants to go to hayride, but what guys feel anxious about is if they want to go with him,” Velasquez said. “It’s the complex that all men really want is to feel appreciated. That’s what we want, and we hope that when we ask a girl that we care about, we want her to not only go to hayride, but to want to go with us. Some guys just ask girls and go on their merry way, but other guys like myself, love to put forth effort into asking girls," Velasquez said. "However that has killed me in the past."

Velasquez was very interested in a girl, and wanted to invite her to his chapter’s hayride, so he got creative with the invitation. He bought wood from Home Depot, cut the pieces, glued it together and added hinges and a lock. He filled the box with hay, a toy tractor, a bottle of moonshine and a bottle of cider and a card with the date on it. She accepted in a heartbeat. 

“I’ve given flowers to a girl when I asked and she said yes, only to cancel on me a day before hayride,” Velasquez said. “That same hayride I was on option seven with dates and probably had the worst event ever.”

Lambda Chi Alpha junior, Kyle Sims, said that finding a date can cause concern leading up to the event. “It can be a struggle finding someone that you know you'll have a good time with,” Sims said. “Trying to decide between the two mediums can cause some anxiety.” 

So, who exactly do you ask? Do you let a brother set you up or opt for a close friend? 

“Finding a date for date functions can be a lot of pressure," Sims said. “On one hand, it's always fun to be set up or go with a date that you don't know very well so that you can get to know someone new. On the other hand, nothing beats going with a really good friend - guaranteed good time.” 

Sims recalled several times when he has taken close friends on date party events, and had a lot of fun. He also has had bad experiences with people whom he got set up with or did not know. Sims said the two did not click and the whole party was awkward. 

I had this conversation with several other guys from various fraternities. One guy said he ended up asking one girl just because she asked him if he would take her, and he didn’t know how to say no and get out of it.  Another guy said, “I wanted to ask you, but was afraid you would say no."

You will never know if you don’t ask. And still another’s response was, “My friend was taking a girl he liked, but she wanted her friend to go, too, so you just kind of get pushed into a situation."

We all struggle with making the best, most fun choice for ourselves, and we all worry about rejection. As I resume my search for an awesome dress, although the date part isn’t secured yet, I feel gratitude for having gotten a small glimpse into the male mind and that there is a lot of thought that goes into the date.  All in all, men just really want to be appreciated.