Holding grudges is such a heavy burden to constantly have to carry around. As humans we often get our feelings hurt by others who are just that -- human. I emphasize the point of our humanity for the simple fact that as humans, we make mistakes -- we say mean things to each other or about each other, including behind each other’s backs, we lash out when we get hurt, we get caught up on small things that have no eternal value, and we far too often hold onto anger that we feel toward others for way too long, causing this anger to fester and turn us into hard, bitter people.

I’ve heard so many people say things like, “I can try and forgive them for what they did, but I won’t ever forget it,” but can you truly forgive someone with this mindset? If you continue to dwell on what someone has done to wrong you, yet you say you’ve forgiven them, this dwelling means that you may have spoken the words forgiveness with your mouth, but done the exact opposite in your heart. If you hold onto anger or frustration that you have toward someone, the only one who has to deal with the pain that this causes is you.

Forgiving someone does not mean that you are weak, or that you were wrong in whatever happened, or that you have given the other person the upper hand in the situation. Actually, forgiveness is much more for you than it is for the other person. Forgiveness will set you free and allow you to be at peace not only with the other person who you have been struggling with, but also with yourself. When you make the decision to forgive someone, no matter how hard it may seem to do, you will become so much lighter, and you can experience the utter and complete joy that accompanies the freedom that comes with forgiveness.

I know that forgiving someone isn’t always the easiest thing to do. I’ve dealt with several times like this in my life, especially my senior year of high school. I lost a lot of relationships with people who I thought were my friends at the time, and looking back now it wasn’t a major issue, but I held grudges against people for a long time after, and all it did was hurt me and make me bitter toward these people. However, when I finally let it all go, forgave them and moved on, I felt 100 pounds lighter.

We were all shown the ultimate forgiveness when God sent His only son to die for us on a cross. While we were all still sinners, while we spit on, laughed at and even killed Jesus, he died so that we could be forgiven of all of our sins and receive salvation and eternal life through Him. None of us deserved this sacrifice, but it was done out of compassion and love. We will probably never have to sacrifice our only child for someone, especially not someone who wronged us, and certainly not to the level that we wronged Christ, so the task of forgiving others in a way that mirrors how God forgives us each and every time we wronged Him, and will continue to do so, is not an impossible task. If God was able to send His only son, His perfect and holy son who committed no wrongs, to die for a world who did not accept Him, we should all be able to forgive our friends, or anyone for that matter, who have done something to hurt us, whether intentionally or by accident.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32