The Moment You Finally Learn To Forgive Yourself For What You Can't Control

The Moment You Finally Learn To Forgive Yourself For What You Can't Control

Life can come at you fast, react with patience.

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One of the hardest things as humans to accept is the fact that there're somethings in life that are out of our control. You might be having a great day and then receive not so great news later that afternoon. Life can come at you really fast, the thing that matters, though, is how you react to it.

I used to be the girl who planned out every single moment of my life from birth to death. I knew exactly what I wanted to do my whole life, who I wanted to be, and what my purpose should be. However. I always felt like I was missing something in my life. I felt like all of the mystery in life was gone because I had such a strict plan for how I wanted my life to go.

This “plan" I've had has come with so many struggles and setbacks. There have been boys in my life that I plan around and then they leave. There have been majors or careers I want to pursue but then I will try them out and realize that it's not for me. The worst is when you work your whole life for something to work out and then it doesn't and you're left wondering if you could've done more or if all of your hard work was worth it.

I used to take misguided plans and broken promises super seriously. My biggest problem I fight with is blaming myself and saying "What's so wrong with me?" when the going gets tough. I finally took some time for myself in college and started trying to find out why I always blame myself for so many things in life, even the things I cannot control. I started going to therapy, charting out my mental habits and thoughts, and I even started studying more of my Bible and starting a tiny garden so I was working on things that were bigger than myself. It all led me to healing that portion of my heart that was always making me feel like I was enough.

It all helped me learn one simple thing: God never gives you more than you can handle. I have been telling myself this fact for years but it wasn't until something happened that was out of my control that one of my friends said that to me and I started to believe it. Every tiny thing that happens in your life is meant to help you. There will never be something so overwhelming that you cannot overcome. We all go through some of the hardest things in life that will test our willingness to listen to His promise, but if we stay patient and act on it with strength, kindness, and wisdom we will prosper and grow. There are always going to be things in life that happen that we don't expect or cannot control, but as long as we stay positive and realize it's meant to help us grow, we will.

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.

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Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.

Sincerely,

A girl who is sad to go

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What I Wish I Knew About Life After High School Before I Had To Live It

Life after high school isn't always what you expected it to be.

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So you're about to graduate high school and you think you have it all figured out. You and your best friends are going to stay close throughout college and you're going to take those long road trips in college to see each other. Think again.

Life after high school isn't always what you want it to be. You think you'll miss high school, you'll always be close with your high school besties, and you'll have all this free time in college. That's just not entirely true. I personally do not miss high school. I don't really talk to anyone I went to high school with on a regular basis, and I'm totally OK with that. I have friends in college that I believe will be my lifelong friends whereas my friends in high school didn't make an effort to keep in contact with me after high school.

I haven't had all the free time I've dreamed of in college, because I'm busy with school and meetings. When I'm not doing homework, I'm making sure the rest of my life is in order and all my stuff for school is in line. I'm not the crazy party girl that people think I am because of where I go to school. I'd rather sit in bed and watch Netflix than go out with my friends. I'm not a 4.0 student, but I work so hard in my classes just to make sure that I'm passing. I study a week before tests and still don't always make A's. And that's OK. It's not what I expected during my college years, but it's what's happening, and most of my friends are the same way.

Anne Marie Bonadio

Just know that life in college isn't all easy, breezy, and beautiful like Covergirl. It's hard and you will struggle whether it be in school or with your friends. College isn't always complete freedom. You'll be tied down with school and life and you won't have the free time that you always imagined. You won't always be best friends with your high school friends. You won't be taking those road trips because you won't be able to afford them, and if you're like me, your parents won't let you.

College won't be exactly what you dreamed it'll be, but it'll be some of the best years of your life.

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