The Moment You Finally Learn To Forgive Yourself For What You Can't Control

One of the hardest things as humans to accept is the fact that there're somethings in life that are out of our control. You might be having a great day and then receive not so great news later that afternoon. Life can come at you really fast, the thing that matters, though, is how you react to it.

I used to be the girl who planned out every single moment of my life from birth to death. I knew exactly what I wanted to do my whole life, who I wanted to be, and what my purpose should be. However. I always felt like I was missing something in my life. I felt like all of the mystery in life was gone because I had such a strict plan for how I wanted my life to go.

This “plan" I've had has come with so many struggles and setbacks. There have been boys in my life that I plan around and then they leave. There have been majors or careers I want to pursue but then I will try them out and realize that it's not for me. The worst is when you work your whole life for something to work out and then it doesn't and you're left wondering if you could've done more or if all of your hard work was worth it.

I used to take misguided plans and broken promises super seriously. My biggest problem I fight with is blaming myself and saying "What's so wrong with me?" when the going gets tough. I finally took some time for myself in college and started trying to find out why I always blame myself for so many things in life, even the things I cannot control. I started going to therapy, charting out my mental habits and thoughts, and I even started studying more of my Bible and starting a tiny garden so I was working on things that were bigger than myself. It all led me to healing that portion of my heart that was always making me feel like I was enough.

It all helped me learn one simple thing: God never gives you more than you can handle. I have been telling myself this fact for years but it wasn't until something happened that was out of my control that one of my friends said that to me and I started to believe it. Every tiny thing that happens in your life is meant to help you. There will never be something so overwhelming that you cannot overcome. We all go through some of the hardest things in life that will test our willingness to listen to His promise, but if we stay patient and act on it with strength, kindness, and wisdom we will prosper and grow. There are always going to be things in life that happen that we don't expect or cannot control, but as long as we stay positive and realize it's meant to help us grow, we will.