We didn’t choose our parents however, we can choose how we react towards them. My whole life I have been angry towards my mother and was cold towards her. I have been angry with her for all the times she let her pain manifest into mine. I was angry for her not being there emotionally. I felt as if she loved me less than my brothers.
Truth of the matter is I don’t think she properly knew how to love me after losing my father... I think she was scared to love me the way I needed and honestly don’t think she knew how to be there for me. How can you be there for a little girl whose world got flipped upside down when her father was killed?
Not to mention my mother grew up with an alcoholic mother who was never there for her. My mother wasn’t taught love nor was she in a loving household. Therefore, she raised us off of survival. My mother wasn’t always bad she made a lot of sacrifices for us. But still I’ve been so angry with her.
To any of you out there wondering why you aren’t good enough for your mother... you are! Don’t resent your mother cause there will be a day where she is no longer here and none of that will matter. Break the cycle of survival and forgive so you can learn to love.
You may be angry as hell, but that should be more motivation to forgive. Forgive her and heal together. Holding on to anger for a parent is the worst kind of anger to hold on to. Being angry towards my mother for as long as I had made me resent her and changed the way I think. I don’t want to resent my mother and I don’t want to be angry anymore... Learn to forgive. No matter what she has done she is still your mother do not take that forgranted.
Mami if you’re reading this I forgive you....
