Sometimes it’s hard to realize what you are doing to someone. You don’t realize you are breaking their heart every time you joke about their passion or make a side comment about their favorite shirt. I mean, who really pays attention to the little details? …. I do….
So when I say I forgive you, I mean it. I forgive you for all the things you did to me, even though you might not have realized it. I get it, I sometimes cross the line, but the difference between me and you is that I apologized when I thought I was doing harm; I tried to make things right. Once again, here I am, making things right but why should I be doing this when so much time has passed?
I forgive you for making me feel like I need to ask for a second opinion on my outfit. After everything was said and done, I never felt confident in my clothing any more. I felt like someone was secretly keeping the truth from me about how I looked. Before you I never had trouble with picking out my outfits, because I never felt out of place But I forgive you, because I don’t think you meant to make me feel like I don’t belong.
I forgive you for putting into my head that what I’m passionate about it a joke. No I don’t just flip or say rah rah rah on the sidelines. What I love is much more than what you see. You never saw the blood, sweat, and tears that went into what I just did. You don’t know how long it took me to learn what I just did. Sure it looks easy now, but that’s because I perfected it to look that way.
I forgive you for thinking it was wrong of me to have more than just you. If you can give me one good reason why I only need you, then I will drop everyone else right this second and only talk to you. Bet you can’t think of one. No one deserves that much power, especially not you.
I forgive you for showing me that I am nothing to you. Sure, at the time you told me nothing would change and nothing will be different, but looky here, everything is different. Once everything was done and said, it was as if I was just a stranger on the street. You acted as if there was no history. But that’s OK, because without you I found out who I truly was.
No one is perfect, by any means. We all make mistakes and we apologize for what we can, but what you did was no mistake. You deliberately made me feel like I was incompetent and unable to live for myself. You took away my feelings and when you left you didn’t think twice.
I forgive you, not for you, but for me. Holding grudges against you isn’t healthy for me. You’re too toxic to even think about.
