It’s easy to forget who you are when your life is changing too quickly to keep up. Unfortunately, for some of us, there are times when it seems as though life is throwing us endless curveballs, purposely trying to knock us down. Things change—sometimes drastically—and it can be hard to adjust. It can be hard to remember who you are when everything seems to have flipped upside down.
The past year of my life has been full of ups and downs, and over its course things have changed more than I ever imagined they could or would. From letting go of certain friendships in my life to finding love, from graduating high school to entering a broad new world at college, and from losing a dear loved one to dealing with anxiety and depression—my perspectives have changed on so many things, and I've been, in a lot of ways, forced to grow. And recently, I’ve been realizing that I’m just not sure who I am anymore.
Our whole lives we cling to routine and structure, whether we realize that consciously or not. In elementary and middle school, we’re in class five days a week and come home every night for dinner. We find friends and they pass the time quicker than we realize in the moment. In high school, things change again. We begin to understand who we are, and we develop interests and start thinking about our futures. We expand our horizons, and our friendships either strengthen or weaken. By the time we graduate, we might be leaving as completely different people, wondering how we’re going to deal with the future if we no longer have our own little high school-centered world to be secured within. Granted, this may not be the case for everybody—but it certainly was for me.
But I’m okay. I’m at college, and though I’ve had some ups and downs dealing with my past, things are so much better than they were when high school was my entire world. Now, the end-game for this chapter of my life isn’t me at college, figuring out how I’m going to keep myself tethered to my past while simultaneously branching out, meeting new people, and learning new things.
No, now the end-game is a bright future. It’s me in a high school classroom, not only teaching my students about literature, but hopefully helping them understand that there’s an entire world out there they have yet to experience. It’s me regularly seeing the people I enjoy passing the time with—it’s me holding on to the friendships that were created when I bonded with people whose lives were changing just as drastically as mine; when I bonded with people who made me feel loved, safe, and happy again despite my fear that I would continue experiencing what seemed to be a series of unfortunate events.
Of course, it’s not always easy to remember my goals. But somehow, even when I’m at my lowest points, thinking I’ll never get back up and having no idea how to adapt to my dynamic life, I now know deep down that things will be okay. For the first time in my life, I know that this is, in fact, my life. I know that the past is my only obstacle, because in the present I have a loving family, amazing friends and my health, and that in the near future, I’ll be doing what I love.
So when you think you’ve forgotten who you are, remember that things will always be changing. Remember your passions, and engage yourself in them as much as possible. For me, one of my biggest passions is writing. I write about what I know, and I write to help myself move on when I’m feeling stuck. Remember that life is fleeting, and that all you need to do is hold on to positivity and be happy, and to show your gratitude and appreciation for those who support and love you.
When you can’t remember who you are, all you need to know is that you’re a human being. The more you focus on what makes you happy, the easier it will be to remember your purpose and your goals. Love deeply, laugh whenever you can, and treasure what brings you joy and comfort.
