I forget

I looked at other people's families with envy

Thinking to myself why I was put with this one

After it's all said and done

All greatness I've accomplished I come back to this low

Not blaming it on feelings or emotions basing it on what I know

That I was raised with a deck with missing cards

While everyone grew into their poker face I was birthed with this guard

Limiting what allow in but also what I see

So while others enjoyed love I begged for something that was meant to be free

And for a brief moment

I thought blood was really thicker than water

But I need to see that test

That proves that blood is best

Because when I look back, water is such an easier clean up when there is a mess

And for a brief moment

I forget that he deemed me worth it

Since he dealt the cards of life everything he does is with purpose

I thank God for the disaster for the chaos and pain

Please understand that I like the sun but I've learned to love the rain

How can you grow if your circumstances never change

So let's say I've been stretched to the max and I'll never be the same

And for a brief moment

I remove myself from my situation

I learned so much from the journey and now I plan for new destinations

That I will have children with childhoods that they do not have to be repaired from

My kids will know love I yearn for that day to come