In my life, I find that it’s easy for me to follow Christ. Not always, but occasionally. It’s quite simple for me to follow Christ when I’m dressed in my favorite outfit sitting in church on a Sunday morning. It’s easy for me to follow Christ when I’m posting a verse or a quote on Twitter or my Snapchat story. It’s easy for me to follow Christ when I get a meaningful tattoo or when I start a trendy, cute blog. Those are “easy” times for me to be a Christian.
It’s much more difficult, however, to follow Christ when I’m completely exhausted after a week of work and class and I sleep through my alarm, avoiding God’s refreshing presence on a Sunday morning. It’s much harder to follow Christ when I want to tweet or post something that I think is hilarious but also profane. It’s much more of a battle to follow Christ in my relationships and friendships—trying to be a woman of God and a light among others makes me feel like an outcast and often leads to rejection.
Now, before I go any further, let me just say that I’m not calling anyone out. This is literally about me. This is something that I struggle with and feel guilty about every single day. I’m nowhere near perfect, and I’m still learning and failing daily. I’m trying my best to follow Christ, but I slip up all the time. I want to follow Christ, but it’s so, so hard sometimes (See Romans 7:14-25). And often, I feel like such a hypocrite. I often struggle with feeling like a “bad Christian.”
But then I have to look to the cross and remember that it’s not about me at all. It’s about Him. He died for the sins of the whole world. Even when I exclude myself from His to try and fit in or when I hide my light under a bowl (Matthew 5:15) for fear of rejection, those sins are all covered. All of my sins are covered. And yours are, too. Even in times when I feel like such dirt and the farthest thing from a child of God, He still loves and forgives me and actually wants me. He has never disowned me and never will even though I have rejected Him countless times. What amazing grace is that, huh?
And let me just say that when I do post on social media or when I make a new blog post, I post because I have personally felt God’s love and He has touched my life so greatly and I want to share that. I post because I am so joyful because of Him and nothing cheers me up when I’m having a bad day like diving into scripture or coming across a bible verse on Pinterest or Instagram. I post because I want everyone to feel that grace and love and joy that I feel each and every day. I post because I am not ashamed of the Gospel. Because it is the POWER of God. That brings SALVATION to everyone who believes (Romans 1:16).
But I do realize that I could be a little better at not being ashamed in the hard situations.
And I know I’ll mess up time and time again. Tomorrow, for sure. Next week, you bet. Next year, of course. But praise God that we have a Savior who wipes our slate clean each and every day. Thank God that He sent His son to redeem us and purify us from all our sins—even when we reject Him, even when we are ashamed.
Personally, I pray that I learn to live this life a little more unashamed. Because the Lord is my light and my salvation. He is the stronghold of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1). He is my light, so I only want to be a light for Him in return.
