“Is anyone selling Adderall?” is such a common question on college campuses nationwide, you’d think the drug was candy. It can certainly appear as such, a small orange pill doesn’t look like it can do any harm. It goes by many names, such as Addy, speed, uppers, pep pills, but most recognizably, Adderall.

Adderall is a drug used to stimulate the nervous system and increase the number of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain. We are talking about a stimulant with effects similar to cocaine. So, how harmful can the “study drug” be anyway? It’s just to help you focus, help you ace a test, help you pull an all-nighter. The adverse effects couldn’t possibly be dangerous, and there are worse drugs to be doing in college.

Ask Teresa Harper, who lost her son Devin to Adderall abuse, and she might have a different opinion.

Devin is described as the typical “All-American kid.” He was high school quarterback, he was prom king, he loved to hunt, and he constantly had a smile on his face. He was everyone’s favorite person because he was just easy to connect to and from what I understand, didn’t have a mean bone in his body. When he started having mood swings and becoming agitated, his family only assumed college was taking a normal toll.

It’s a stressful time. They never suspected there was a drug in his system making him act differently, making him struggle to be comfortable in his own skin. One day, Devin came home from deer camp and told his family he’d contemplated killing himself. That was the first bitter taste they experienced of Adderall, the first time they became aware of the drug slowly killing their beloved All-American boy. He had never intended to become addicted; he only wanted to be more focused. It can only be assumed that he started taking the drug with good intentions, to better his grades and self. It was then that his family got him into therapy and helped him to set guidelines. He got back into church and rediscovered a true heart for the Lord.

The thing about addiction, see, is that it doesn’t care.

Addiction’s depth is far thicker than skin deep, and it has no friends, recognizes no signs that it is being tossed to the side. Addiction is jealous of hope; addiction is selfish. Adderall had taken hold of Devin’s central nervous system, as it does in about three out of every 100 people, and broken it down. His body could no longer produce dopamine, preventing him from being happy about things he once loved. He spent time in the gym with his father which helped some but couldn’t fix what was broken. Devin was on the right track, he didn’t want to disappoint his family, and he never wanted to leave them behind. He was all set with paperwork to join the Army where they would help him to reach his goals. He wanted to study in the medical field. But he never will.

On January 16, 2017, Devin Harper lost his battle and shot himself.

I cried reading Devin’s story firsthand from his mother, and when I reached out to her to express my condolences and ask permission to share her story, she thanked me. This woman, battling the most tragic of circumstances in her entire life, thanked me for wanting to share and help others. I’d like to acknowledge the ginormous amount of strength it takes to remain steadfast and unwavering in the face of such calamity.

Just looking up the less harmful effects of Adderall produces a list long enough to make me think passing a test isn’t worth it, including nervousness, restlessness, excitability, dizziness, headache, fear, anxiety, agitation, tremor, weakness, blurred vision, insomnia, dry or unpleasant taste in the mouth, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, fever, hair loss, loss of appetite, and weight loss. But furthermore, there could be associated hallucinations, uneven heartbeats, painful or burning urination, extremely high blood pressure, and suicidal thoughts.

College is hard. Life is hard. Getting through an entire night in the library is hard. You know what’s harder? Leaving behind people who love you to plan a funeral they never wanted to attend. Stick with six cups of coffee (I recommend vanilla swirl iced coffee with cream from Dunkin Donuts) or lots of cheap pizza (Dominos has great deals) or $20 worth of 5-Hour Energy bottles from the gas station, but please don’t start popping pills to solve problems. Adderall isn’t even a fun drug; no one is going to think you’re cool because you’re using it. I guarantee Devin wouldn’t be proud of you.

Adderall is a drug designed to bring the brain down from a point of overstimulation to a point of normal stimulation, which is why it is a prescription. Doctors prescribe it to people who need it, why would anyone want to put something in their body that is going to alter the chemicals in their brain if they don’t genuinely need to?

Studies show Adderall has a high potential for abuse, and its effects weaken the more frequently it is used. Once a psychological and physical dependence has been established, the chances of overdose skyrocket because the user will need more and more copious amounts to achieve the same high. If overdose is not achieved eventually, the list of other dangers is a mile long, the biggest concern of which is no longer being the same person. Running the risk of never being happy again because your own brain has betrayed you sounds like a harsh death sentence.

College students are not the only ones at risk. People with eating disorders are as well because it can suppress appetite. Athletes take it to avoid fatigue and enhance performance. Even people the drug is prescribed to could be abusing it, having faked ADHD symptoms to convince a doctor. The chances of getting alcohol poisoning become higher when taking Adderall because people rarely realize how much they have drunk. Students using Adderall are also more likely to abuse other drugs, becoming addicted to several at once and spiraling into a depression they cannot climb out of alone.

Each year, 16 million prescriptions of Adderall are written. Each year, more than 100,000 people are admitted to rehab for addiction to amphetamines such as Adderall. The death toll of Adderall-related deaths such as cardiovascular problems and addiction is steadily climbing, with Devin being only one of the most recent victims. As college students, we are our own motivators to stay healthy and safe, but it is more than okay to admit we need help sometimes. It is never too late.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please seek help.

SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)