"I wonder why we are able to marvel
at the sunsets streaked across winter desolates
captivated by breathtaking beauty, in awe
of a creator that encompassed the definitive
movement of glorious,
and yet, we look at ourselves in such
disappointment, held captive by the ideal
that we are not enough, that we will never be enough,
that we are so far from being marvelous
as if he didn't create both"
-s.a.
I think one of the hardest things we humans, who are learning to love ourselves more, struggle with is accepting our flaws for what they are. Imperfections. And yet, while these imperfections might keep us up at night, staring in the mirror longer than necessary, they are the very things that define who we are.
If not for my imperfections, I never would have learned the lengths I am willing to go or the amount of strength I possess to conquer enemies and obstacles threatening to swallow me whole. That while my face may be rounder or my stomach looser, it is a part of growing older and enjoying the life that I am living.
That new wrinkles appearing on my face are signs of late night laughs and mourning over people and things I have been fortunate to love. That these very wrinkles might be someone else's favorite part of my face one day.
What I have learned as I learn to love myself and value myself higher on the totem pole, is to become less judgemental over the attributes that define me and to appreciate the journey. After all, not every day can be a good day. Because as seasons change, so do we.
And with every scar and change I have experienced thus far in my short life, I find myself even prouder than I was the last time. Proud to share the battles I have fought and somehow won. Proud of the friends who carried me when I could no longer lift myself. And proud of the struggle that has molded me into someone worthy of pride and worthy of hope.
You see, the disappointments I have held in my life, taking a gap year, faltering when my father became ill, losing love yet again, all of these have been the greatest lessons I would ever need. And even though I may not look at myself with the same awe I do as the rising sun, the disdain I once held of myself is diminishing and almost gone.
Because I am enough. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of acceptance. And I am worthy of praise and admiration. And so are you. But only if we begin to believe we are. Only then we begin to accept that we are.
In the end, the only person we will ever truly know is ourselves. And while a painter might examine every tiny flaw up close, the minute you take a few steps back, the painting becomes a masterpiece. Because even sunsets have flaws.
But when you soften your gaze and change your perspective anything can become beautiful.
Even you.
So love her. Love him. Love the body, the intelligence and the wit that you have been given. And when doubt begins to creep into the back of your mind, and you become overly conscious of every defect that you believes defines you, I hope you learn to step back. After all, you just might be surprised by the beauty you eclipse.
