I'M IN FLAVOR TOWN! | The Odyssey Online
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I'M IN FLAVOR TOWN!

It's the best town of all

Timothy DeCoursey
Oct 30, 2016
Kalamazoo College
39
I'M IN FLAVOR TOWN!
Food Network

HEY THERE, I'M TIM AND I'M ABOUT TO CHECK OUT THE GREATEST TOWN IN THE WORLD. THIS WEEK IN FLAVORTOWN AS WE SPEAK! THAT'S ALL HERE RIGHT NOW. THIS WEEK ON THE ODYSSEY ONLINE.

Don't worry about me. I'm in flavor town at the moment.That's right. The only kinds of restaurants in flavor town are diners, drive-ins, and dives. And food is literally currency. So it is an obvious statement, but one that also reminds us of the values of Flavor Town and our lord is Guy Fieri.

In Flavor Town, they've been serving up tasty food of all kinds for what feels like forever.

Every car you see on the road is some classic Mustang or Ferrari, and the people tell you exactly where the best food is, and wherever you go eat you get to learn exactly how to cook that food. But you don't want to make it because who wants to make their own food? That would take time, effort, and actual cooking skills: things that I do not have.

The town bird is a chicken on top of a piece of pizza. The town rodent is a rat wrapped in bacon with a tangy dipping sauce. Delicious.

Calories, cholesterol, blood pressure aren't ever issues in Flavor Town. Go to the doctor and they will say, "Your health is out of this world, man." Yep, I don't have any issues. No health issues here. Another plus is they've got free eatcare here, too. That's what they call healthcare here in Flavor Town.

At the University of Flavor Town, you only get one assignment: go out and find more bomb places for the next episode of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. And the professor there is Guy Fieri himself. He's also the mayor, editor in chief of the paper, the owner of the most popular restaurant and the king of the town. It's just an absolutely perfect system, where Guy Fieri owns everything and we live under his reign. (Please help me.) He lives in a castle in the center of town. That's where he gives away the best food each day.

I've bleached my hair and changed my fashion style to blend in with the population. I'll be getting some wicked tats too. I am growing a great goatee. I'm getting more to get mad street cred for that. So I hope they will let me stay in a house instead of on the street. (Please accept me.)

I don't want to leave Flavor Town. There's nowhere else that I want to be here. You should come here. Join us.

That's all for now. Find out more about my experiences in Flavor Town and other stuff on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Drives.

I've got to go eat some more. So many Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, so little time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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