Have you ever wondered...
...about how weird it was that whenever you walk on the street, you feel like you're walking on a flat surface even though the planet is meant to be round? And how, when you look into the horizon, you see a flat line and not a curved line?
If you have, you might be one of the few gifted intellectuals to actually question modern science's widely-acclaimed fact: that the Earth is round. Unfortunately for you, the Earth is, in fact, quite spherical, but should it be? Maybe it's time for that to change...
1. Science would be easier
Now, I'm no astrophysicist, but I'd wager a guess that if the Earth were flat, space travel and astronomy, in general, would be greatly simplified. Instead of worrying about orbits and other technical garbage (pardon my Frénch), NASA could worry instead about just moving the rocketship directly up and down.
In fact, what would prevent us from just building an elevator straight into the sky now that the planet isn't spinning wildly at billions of miles per hour? Space travel would become trivial overnight if we just had some common sense and used a flat Earth model instead of the cumbersome spherical one.
2. Round earth kills
I'm sorry that you had to see that gruesome number, but it's the truth, and the truth can hurt sometimes.
I don't know if you guys realize this, but the leading cause of tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanoes, and hurricanes is a curved atmosphere and crust. Don't ask me why, ask the scientists who decided it'd be a good idea to make the Earth spherical instead of playing it safe with a flat model. Can you imagine how much blood and property damage is on those people's hands?Maybe after billions and trillions of people have died due to natural disasters, it's time to think about what's so great about having a round Earth, because NASA and CERN certainly don't care.
3. The only reason it isn't flat is because of Galileo
Now doesn't THAT look much nicer? That's what the world is SUPPOSED to look like.
(Note: if anyone can find the original artist for this image, it'd be much appreciated, so I can both credit them and also congratulate them on their supreme intellect)
We all learned in history class that everyone used to use the flat Earth model before a certain someone whose name sounds like a cheap dessert came along and ruined everything. Everyone was happy with the Earth being flat and the sun spinning around us, but Galileo wasn't. He started convincing everyone in Europe that the Earth was round by looking at the stars and deciding that their movements didn't make sense if the Earth was flat (note: get a life, you nerd).
He was right, of course, but why should we all have to suffer for the actions of one? I say we bring back the days when Galileo the Spoil Sport didn't ruin everything.
4. It's 2018
Through the years of the Holocaust, 9/11, slavery, etc., one thing has always stayed consistent: the Earth was round. If that doesn't immediately open your eyes to the sheer horror that round Earth is bringing upon the human population, then go ahead and keep drinking your piña colada as you watch the world burn through sunglasses at the beach.
Do I really even need to say more? Come on, everyone: it's 2018, and it's time to stop living in the past.
5. North Korea might fall off
Let's be honest: nobody really wants North Korea around with all the human rights violations and nuclear threats they flounder around with, and as of yet the small country is still firmly planted on the Earth's spherical crust.
If we flattened the Earth, however, there is a small, albeit existent, chance that Kim Jong Un's little tyrannical empire will move a bit too far over the edge and snap off into the cold, endless vacuum of space. If that doesn't sound ideal, then I don't know what will.
Still not convinced that the Earth should be flat? I recommend studying scholarly articles like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth and all over https://www.tfes.org/.
