Mitch Albom broke into the literary scene with his big hit, "The Five People You'll Meet in Heaven." Well, I got to thinking of the five things we'd find in heaven. There are a handful of items that always seem to find a way of going missing. No matter how many times you run to the store to replace them, they will eventually -- and very quickly-- disappear. Here are the Five Things You'll Find in Heaven.
1. ChapStick
I have yet to meet a person who has successfully used up a tube of ChapStick before losing it. If you have, I would personally like to congratulate you and shake your hand. On average, we tend to lose a ChapStick after a couple of months. Unfortunately, they tend to go missing in the winter months when living a ChapStick-less life is extremely painful.
2. Bobby pins
Whether you're a guy or a girl, chances are you find bobby pins extremely annoying. If you're a girl, it's because you're always losing them. If you're a guy, it's because you're likely finding them scattered all over the place. A pack of 24 brand spanking new bobby pins can vanish in a matter of days. Beyond the pearly gates, I expect to see mountains and mountains of bobby pins, glistening in brown and black glossy hues.
3. New school supplies
The beginning of every school year is marked by a trip to Staples, Target or the like. Carts are filled with highlighters, pens, folders, pencils, Post-Its... Check back in three months, everything is gone. We're borrowing pencils (that we conveniently forget to return) and writing notes on the back of the syllabus (that we miraculous still have). Where do they all go? My guess? Heaven. Where everywhere you turn is a fully stocked aisle of school supplies.
4. Pen caps
On a similar note, if you are lucky enough to have not lost your pen, chances are you at least will have lost its cap. Those suckers get decapitated left and right. The time frame of pen decapitation varies, but by the end of the school year, you'll be grateful to have a pen with ink in it, regardless of its uncapped nature. Fret not, though. One day you will behold a beautiful image: mounds and mounds of pen caps. In my mind, they are a brilliant Bic blue.
*Side note: as the image suggests, it's likely Heaven holds all of the headphones you've ever purchased.
5. Keys & locks
We all have that bike lock without a key, or maybe you have the key but the lock is nowhere to be found. Chances are you have a least one random set of keys that you have absolutely no idea what they go to. Or how about all of those combination locks that we bought in middle school or high school, only to realize we never needed them? They're somewhere. And by somewhere, I mean Heaven.
