One of the most anticipated traditions at UD every year is Charity Week. A week where you can shoot friends and strangers alike with a squirt gun, hoping for the most Kaos kills. A week where you can get out of class for just $1 by putting your professor in jail. A week where you can send a crush can to that special someone, vote on your favorite Rome photos, buy a hot date, lip sync to your favorite song, run a 5k, and much more, all in the name of charity. And every Charity Week, you are bound to meet these five people:
1. The Cheerleader
This person is the spirit of Charity Week. They volunteer at every booth, participate in every event, and dress up for the theme every day. You can hear them shouting through Hagar reminding you to vote for Rome photos or buy a crush can, saying, "it's for charity!" Their energy and dedication is admirable, but don't put it beyond The Cheerleader to make you feel like you're "killing the babies" if you don't donate a dollar to a booth.
2. The Penny Pincher
For some reason, this person is less likely to donate money because it's Charity Week. They'll constantly tell you, "I can't believe how much money you're spending," every time you decide to make a contribution. They might fork over a dollar to get out of class, but more likely they'll just skip class anyway and have someone else cover their cost.
3. The Assassin
This person takes Kaos way too seriously. You're out of luck if you're this person's target. If you delete your social media, they will still somehow find out who you are and what you look like. Buying immunity won't protect you either, because you can count on the Assassin to buy a super soaker with an indoor permit. Don't doubt their dedication either, because even if you're in a safe zone, they will camp out for hours and be there to squirt you as soon as you leave. The Assassin makes it his or her prerogative to pick off everyone on the open season list. They will do anything it takes to make sure they stay in the game and win.
4. The Jail Bird
This person has about $20 on their head at all times. But instead of just avoiding the Mall, they like to taunt the jailers and walk by as many times a day as they can. If you see someone kicking and screaming as they're being carried into jail, you're probably dealing with a Jail Bird. But there's nothing a Jail Bird likes more than the challenge of escaping. You might have seen a group of them carrying the jail off towards the tower to start a mass prison-break, but you know they're not going to help carry it back!
The Backstabber
This is the friend who invites you over to Hagar for lunch, and as you cross the mall you're escorted to jail. Right on cue, The Backstabber comes out of their hole and points and laughs, handing over another dollar to the jailers. This person will also put you onto the Kaos open season list...TWICE! Even if they're not playing, nothing gives them greater pleasure than to watch you suffer. Money is no object for The Backstabber when it comes to messing with friends.
