So, I have this problem. When I write articles, they're not considered "popular" or "good" in the traditional sense. Well, I finally decided to sell out and write something that will get me more views and shares. Here you go.
#5. Sacrifice a Goat
The first step is pretty messy. You need to draw a pentagram, place a goat in the middle, then just slaughter the thing. Now, if you're like me, you just might puke during the process. This is an essential step in selling your soul to Satan, though.
#4. Say Goodbye to your Dignity
If you hold yourself to any sort of standards while writing for this website, then they'll eat you up. So, you have to treat your dignity like it's Paul Walker and you're Vin Diesel at end of Furious 7. That will make what follows a lot easier.
#3. Make It a F*cking List
Turns out that people don't like reading. So, some of you writers might be wondering how to get around this. Well, make it a list. People eat that shit up. Just take your one cohesive idea and chop it up and spread that shit around. Just place it all in an arbitrary order.
#2. GIFS, GIFS, GIFS
People can't get enough of GIFS, and then you get to profit off of other people's work. It's a win-win.
Ooooooooh yeah, eat up those sweet GIFs.
HAIL TO THE DARK LORD!!!
#1. Sit Back and Rake In Those Sweet, Sweet Shares
If you followed every step I've said to a tee, then prepare to go viral. And by go viral, I mean prepare to become part of the disease that is ruining creativity. But you'll get plenty of views, so yay!
