Selfies have a bad reputation. To be fair, I understand why selfies get a lot of flack. Some people take them to a whole new level, and not in a good way. From post-sex selfies to funeral selfies, sometimes you just sit there and wonder where it all went wrong.
I've posted a fair amount of selfies in my day. When I was 16 and at a particularly low point in my self-esteem history, a friend of mine commented on my Facebook profile picture at the time, which had been a selfie I'd taken earlier that day. I remember feeling so beautiful in that photo; black eyeliner outlining my big brown eyes and red lipstick making my lips look plump.
My friend commented, "you look scary".
Seeing that comment felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I internalized that comment so much that I immediately felt ashamed for posting that picture, even though I had been absolutely in love with it before seeing that comment. I felt stupid and embarrassed for posting a picture of myself that was obviously so disturbing to other people.
I deleted that picture right away. In fact, I deleted every single picture on my Facebook that was just of me. I didn't post another selfie for two years because I was terrified of getting another comment like that. I dreaded every single time someone tagged me in a photo because I didn't know what other people would think of how I looked.
Would they think that I was beautiful? Was someone else going to tell me that I looked scary or ugly or disgusting?
Eventually, I got to a point where I started to value myself more than I valued the opinions of others. It wasn't easy, but no journey worth taking is. I'll never know what that person meant by their comment or why they would post something like that, but I don't need to know. All I need to know is that their judgment of me reflects more on them than it does on me. That's what I should've internalized all those years ago, not the rude and uncalled-for judgment of someone that I thought I could call a friend.
For me, embracing the selfie has been a result of my own journey to self-acceptance. It's not like that for everyone. Some people think selfies are stupid and superficial. Some people aren't big on taking selfies, but don't mind if other people do. Some people are selfie enthusiasts.
Me? I'll just be over here, feeling all sorts of self-love and confidence that took years to build out of the remains of a shattered self-image. I'll be over here, exploring new makeup trends, hairstyles, ways of dressing my body, and ways of expressing myself to the world without concern for anyone's opinion but my own. I'll be over here, unashamedly making myself visible, after spending years feeling like I had to be invisible.
