First Mother's Day Without Mom

I Survived My First Mother's Day Without My Mom​

The first Mother's Day without her won't be a sob story, just another day.


Mother's Day is not celebrated by everyone. The TV ads for the so-called "perfect Mother's Day gift" have never phased me. But now, six months after unexpectedly losing my mom, I can't bear to watch them, as they remind me that, for the first time ever, I am one of those people that can't celebrate how amazing my mother is.

Mother's Day was never a big deal in my house, just a day where I could buy my stuff that I figured she would enjoy. Usually just some candy and plants, nothing special. It was just another Sunday, just with a little more recognition of having the coolest mom in the world. Last year on Mother's Day, the last one spent together, I bought my mom a plant that I knew she would forget to water, along with a card, then left it for her while I went to work all day. Little did I know that this would be the last time I would be able to do this.

Looking back, I don't feel bad for not spending that day with her. Like I said, Mother's Day was always like any other day. Unfortunately, it will actually be just another day for me, since this is the first year that I have no mother to celebrate. I never appreciated this random Sunday until now.

But I'm not sad. And if you're not celebrating a mom this year, you shouldn't be either. Because six months have passed since losing her. Mother's Day is just another day of not having her around, just like every day for half a year now.

I will definitely think of her, and wish to be spending the day with her, but then I will move on. Just like I should every day.

I am not a very sentimental person, so I can't speak for everyone. But I find it much easier to treat a sad day as just another day. The great days and the not-so-great days will run their course, then they will turn into a brand new day, a new chance to start all over. Why should any holiday be an exception? Sure, the first Mother's Day not celebrating with my mom around will happen, but then it will pass, just like an average day.

This holiday will come and go every year, and the next day will always be following. And it's much better to be sad for one day because a new, easier day will come soon after.

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To The Kindest Person I Know

She is the most supportive person I know.

As Mother's Day approaches, I am reminded of how wonderful my mom is.

She is kind, loving, sassy, and supportive. I want to be as supportive as she is one day because her support shows through in the form of understanding, but also showing up for those who need her.

She will go to funerals to support her friends, spend as much money that is necessary to help family, drive to my college to give me something I need, and spend all day at an event that I helped plan.

She is the most supportive person I know.

As I've gone through the trials and tribulations of going to college and living on my own, she has left an incredible mark on me. We all say we won't be our parents, but I hope to my mom.

I've realized how important it is to support one another. College is hard, life is downright awful at times, and what makes it better is having someone who will show up for you.

She has shown up by sending me good luck texts when I have a big test, encouraging me when I'm down, sitting with me while I cry about school or life, and actually physically showing up to my work when I'm sad to bring me a Starbucks.

My mom shows her love by showing up when I or anyone around her needs it most.

Thank you, mom, for showing me this quality that is so vital. Thank you for being the person I always need.

Most importantly, I hope to show up for you too because no matter how hard I try-- I will never be able to repay you.

"i struggle so deeply to understand how someone can pour their entire soul blood and energy into someone without wanting anything in return-- i will have to wait till I'm a mother," Rupi Kaur.

Cover Image Credit: Alicia Burrell

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I Am So Thankful For The Strong Women In My Life

They have helped shape who I am today.


As a kid, I had three major women in my life: my mom, my grandma, and my bubbie (Yiddish for "grandmother").

I can easily say I am all the better for having these women as my role models for life.

My mom and I didn't get along all that well when I was younger. Cliche as it is, it took me leaving home for college for us to really segue into a much healthier mother-daughter relationship. It also helps that we got a dog a few years ago and became crazy dog moms together who send dog memes and videos back and forth.

My mom is and always has been a powerhouse.

My mom worked a lot and taught me the value of putting in the effort. I learned from her to never settle for less than great, to work hard, and not let people walk all over me. She (and my dad) made sure I knew the value of professionalism and how to be professional. There's a reason I ask them to proofread any important emails before hitting send!

My mom is also a total goof.

This pretty much sums us up!

My sarcasm and humor are unquestionably from her. She's one of the funniest people I know and reminds me not to take everything too seriously. Also, the constant dog and baby videos we send one another are the best.

My grandma is my best friend.

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Yes, that's possible. It helps that we share a lot of interests. My grandma has always been my number one supporter and as I got older, became someone I rely so much on for emotional support. I can always count on my grandma to make me smile.

My grandma taught me to love unconditionally, even towards those you are not blood-related to.

She is my dad's step-mom and technically my step-grandmother, but you would never know we aren't blood-related with how she whole-heartedly loves her non-biological grandkids just as much as her biological ones. She made her home into a safe space for me in the years I needed that most.

My bubbie taught me that time apart means nothing when it comes to loving someone.

As I've grown older, I don't get to see my bubbie as much. But I know she is always there if I need her, and I know she loves me.

I recently went to dinner with her and was reminded of just why - and how much - I love my grandmother. She's tough and sweet, smart and funny. We spent most of the time talking about everything from family to theater to politics, and it was a highlight moment of my life. I enjoyed it so much.

I am unbelievably lucky to have not one, but two grandmothers who love me in the way only a grandmother can. They give my life a specialness I wouldn't get from anyone else in my life.

I am so lucky to have a mom who I can have a good relationship with and talk to openly. (And who puts up with my unintentional repetition of stories.)

I cannot thank any of these women enough for being involved in my life.

I love you all, and happy Mother's Day!

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