I've come across this saying multiple times, most recently from Kate Rose's article on Elephant Journal that we each get three prominent loves in our life. At the tender age of 20, I have already experienced all three of these loves.

So, for the next couple of weeks, I will be writing a letter to each of these loves, expressing my thoughts and gratitude towards them.

To my first love,

You were kind and smart. You were gentle and gracious. You were older and dreamy. You were all around good. Everything seemed perfect. My family and friends loved you, I loved you, and I thought that we were going to be together forever.

I was wrong. It was my own doing though. I never understood how I peaked your interest, and I was never good at knowing when I had caught the attention of others. Since I had always had male friends more than female, I never caught on. Mistake number one.

When you entered my life, things had turned for the worst. I had many issues on my plate, and I wasn't sure how to pursue them. I assumed that you were supposed to place all of your burdens on your partner, but I now see how unfair and inappropriate that was at our age. I had grown up several years earlier, so I didn't know what it was like to be a teenager and what types of issues to confide in other teenagers, and which to keep to myself. I do now.

You taught me several lessons about life and relationships, probably without realizing it. You were my best friend, and it hurt like hell when you left. You taught me what it was like to love someone, and not be loved back.

You left me with more questions than answers at the time. However, I'm grateful for it all. I'm lucky to have loved you at all.

You were an easy choice. Everyone expected me to love you, and their wish I followed. It wasn't that I wouldn't have loved you had everyone not already pushed me to do so, but it probably wouldn't have taken me so long to recover.

But in doing so, I learned not to fall too fast.

Our story was like a fairy tale. But fairy tales aren't true either.

So I wish you the best. I want to thank you for the time and memories we shared. I think about you on occasions, and I hope that you are well. I hope that you have found someone that will not be your first love, but your last. I hope you haven't had to feel the pain that I did when you left. I hope you are well.

I've learned that I can't live my life trying to please others, and being with you was that. If I am to love fully, I must love for myself.

So thank you for all the memories which I deeply cherish, for all the lessons, and for being my first love.

Once yours,

Your first love.