As your friendly neighborhood introvert and someone who values time to herself, I am here to tell you that it is okay to be alone. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you or other people who desire to be alone; it's a common societal misconception that I have struggled with for years. This world is one that revolves around the connections one has to other human beings– I believe they call it "networking"– and those who do not participate in the mandatory procedure are simply left out. Ever heard the phrase "loner"?

Now "loner" is a phrase I wear proudly on my sleeve. I pride myself in knowing that being alone is something I will always cherish; in fact, it is something I seem to strive for day after day. I want to debunk some of the greatest myths about people who prefer to be alone, starting with the greatest myth of all time: people who would rather be alone are assholes.

Here's the thing about being alone: most people don't want it and the people who do aren't given the freedom to have it. Growing up, I loved being alone. I was raised in a household where I was encouraged to go at it alone. Both of my parents and my siblings understand the need for alone time, so growing up, being alone was an okay thing to do. Then I went to school. Most kids at school make friends. I wasn't different.

Still to this day, I find it easy to make friends (all you have to do is smile and look them in the eye when they talk, it's not hard) but it's keeping friends where the challenge arises. One of the biggest requirements of having friends is sticking together; spending time in one another's company. As a loner, this both terrified and frustrated me. I do not feel closeness in proxy and furthermore, I need time away from friends. Friends don't understand this, and thus, the loner becomes the asshole when plans are canceled and they drift off from the social circle to be on their own.

This misconception comes from the notion that people who want to be alone are conceited. I'm not going to lie, I enjoy my own company. Being alone gives me a chance to disappear inside my head and, as a writer, this is so important to me. When I am with people, I am a conversationist: the next question asked, a nod, a laugh, I am invested in the other person (which isn't a bad thing), but when I am with myself I can move from all that is physical and explore the metaphysical.

I get stuck inside an overactive imagination where I try to define everything in metaphors and similes and frankly, that's when the world makes the most sense. That's when I feel the safest, inside my own head. Now that's not to say that I don't enjoy the company here and again to go with me to the metaphysical, but in the end, I'd rather hold my own lantern when exploring the darkness, not worrying about what someone else sees in my own mind.

Unfortunately, being alone in that sense can be seen as conceit. Everyone is a little conceited, including people who would rather be around others. Have you ever been with someone who can't talk about anything else other than themselves? Annoying right? At least when I am alone and doing that, you don't have to hear it.

Sure, I might be conceited, go ahead and think that, but the truth is we are all trying to define the world for ourselves. I would rather do so quietly. If you need someone to talk and sort things out with, I will gladly listen; but if I don't share my own thoughts with you, if I don't reciprocate and demand time alone, I need that time to do the same thing with myself. We are all a little conceited, and those who would rather be with themselves are no more than those who can't be alone.

So before you think that we think we are "too good" for you, chances are you are too much for us. And honestly, you can insult us all you want, that's only going to make it harder for us to come to you when we are ready for together. People who are fine alone are pickier with who they want to be together. We have to truly trust you to want to spend time with you.

I have been harassed time and time again about not wanting to be together. I have lost friend after friend after friend for not wanting to be with them all the time. I've been called out, yelled at, blamed for not agreeing to plans; but it's ironic because the people who do express their frustration with me in that way make me want to be alone more than ever. Why would I want to be together with someone who doesn't respect my need to be alone? There is a phrase (a bad one) that I've said time and time again: "if everyone decided they hated me tomorrow, I wouldn't mind. At least then I'd be left alone."

Lastly, I want to mention that wanting to be alone does not mean there is something wrong with you. Another misconception is that people who are alone are not okay in the head space; people who are alone distance themselves from others because they are not okay with themselves. While this might be true for a small percentage of people, it is not true for most. In fact, being alone in most cases is safer than being with people. I appreciate people who text and ask if I am okay when I haven't shown my face in public for a while, but yes, I am okay.

This is just who I am. I am different, sure, but that's fine. I walk around with two earbuds in, eyes to the ground. I go on drives by myself, I sit alone in class, I don't mind eating alone, I go on walks by myself, I spend Friday nights watching my favorite movie in bed, and that is okay. I don't need someone with me to validate my existence, to make it worthwhile. I can do that easily on my own and, in fact, I prefer to do it on my own. A lot of people can't be alone because they don't like who they are, they don't like the thoughts they have, the fact that no one is there to laugh at their jokes. But I am fine laughing at my own jokes. I'm fine being alone even with the dark thoughts. I'm fine, I promise.

Now, even with all of this said, there are times when I like to be with other people. Anyone who personally knows me can attest to that, but recently I've felt a lot of backlash for the whole "wanting to be alone" thing and I thought it was about time that I do something about it. Let me be alone, let me go; the more willing you are to let me have my space, the more likely I will return to you when the time comes. I'm scared off easily, and I retreat to my own arms for comfort. I don't need other people to help define me, but yes, I cherish friendships, just in a different way than most people do.

If you hate me after reading this, fine, never talk to me again, but know that that is absolutely okay with me. You aren't hurting a loner by estranging yourself from them, in fact, you're giving them what they've wanted all along. I'm not asking that you do that, no, you can be friends with a loner. But in order for that relationship to succeed, you need to respect that they need their time alone. I need my time alone.