Have you ever tried to push two seemingly compatible puzzle pieces together that don’t end up quite fitting? The grooves look as though they should align perfectly and yet, there they are, just barely missing each other in some way or another. You wonder why. Why the heck don’t these pieces fit together? They look like they would really work if it weren’t for those grooves being slightly off kilter from each other. And why in the world would there ever be two pieces that look like they go so well together and still not fit? When you’re attempting to shove those two pieces together you’re really just under the impression that there is no way that there is any other piece that could possibly fit. Frustrating is an understatement. And you end up having to conclude that these pieces were not meant to go together, no matter how hard you try to force them. You finally, dejectedly, begin your search once more for your precise puzzle piece.
The puzzle and its pieces are really just a metaphor for relationships in people’s lives. Sometimes we find people that we think are incredibly compatible with our lives and then come to find that they are not exactly who we needed to fit into our “grooves” so to speak. Which is difficult. And scary. It takes time and effort to get exactly right.
I’ve had a lot of experience with incompatible puzzle pieces. And I realize that that’s odd for someone of 20 to say but it is entirely too true. I’ve had friends that I thought would be around for the long haul and somehow ended up disappearing into the vast nothingness just as I’ve had significant others who professed their love to me one day and couldn’t be bothered to look in my general direction the next. My perception of love has changed so many times in the past 10 or so years and it has all come from experience. Love from family, from friends, from peers, from significant others, I’ve seen it all (okay probably not ALL but I’ve been privy to a great many things).
I had a puzzle piece in my life for a decently long stretch of time. In the beginning, we felt like a perfect match. Our grooves seemed to be in sync and our pieces made a fantastic picture together. As time went by, our pieces seemed to be shifting, becoming restless in an unfit position that was slowly becoming more obvious. The fit was less comfortable, straining to stay attached in any way possible, the picture no longer looking as fantastic as I used to believe. And we finally parted ways in order to find where we belong because we most certainly were not made to go together.
The thing about puzzle pieces is that we really want them to fit. You find one that looks so perfect and sometimes it even kind of works with yours but, in reality, you know that those pieces are not meant to be together.
And that was how my other piece and I began to drift. We finally split and I felt like I was alone. No one wants to be a singular piece among pairs, and trios, and so on and so forth.
It was difficult. One of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do if I’m being honest with myself. That connection was difficult to break apart. I guess going through a breakup or the loss of a friend, falling out with a family member, etc, is something akin to being flung into a box of random puzzle pieces where you find yourself feeling incredibly alone and unsure of where or if you’ll fit in.
Puzzle pieces can be deceiving, often tricking us into thinking we've got the right pair and that this pair will fit perfectly among the other groupings. Once we believe that a pair belongs together it is incredibly difficult to tell ourselves any different, unless another piece comes along to take the place of another. We want to believe that these pieces belong together and that there is no other way of going about it just as we want to believe that the people in our lives always belong there, no matter if they fit correctly or not.
One often finds that other “pieces” will come and go but the real “pieces” in your life, the ones that fit perfectly with your edges, will stick it out with you forever because they are made to fit perfectly around you. We’re all really just pieces of a puzzle in a box, waiting to fit into our rightful place so that we may make our beautiful picture.
Right now I’ve got my puzzle pieces and they feel like a pretty good fit. The pieces around me support where I fit in the middle just as I support the pieces that I surround and I am grateful for that. I feel like I finally fit in somewhere instead of attempting to force my grooves into what looks comfortable and safe. I’m here in my puzzle and my puzzle is made of a great many beautiful pieces. And I am happy.
