What To Do When A Love Is Lost
Start writing a post
Student Life

What To Do When A Love Is Lost

I couldn't stop myself from falling, but I could redirect the energy that came from (almost) being in love and use it elsewhere.

25
What To Do When A Love Is Lost
Clem Onojeghuo // Unsplash

A few months ago, I was falling in love. I didn't realize a person could be out of practice when it came to feeling love, but I was. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and doubtful. Somewhere around Valentine's Day, it wasn't meant to be. After hours of conversation and lengthy text messages, we came to the conclusion that we were in different places and that was the end. But I was already falling.

I imagine falling comes from the high of love and connection with another person. In the ideal scenario, two people land in the same place without injury, only warm feelings. Without the other person, you hit pavement -- a rude awakening. Like when you are drifting off to sleep and get that sudden jolt to wake up.

Instead, to cushion my fall, I fell in love with the next closest thing -- the (post-grad) life I was building.

I could say I fell for my job because it is natural and accessible to pour energy into work after a relationship ends, but that wasn't the only piece that made me love and appreciate waking up in the morning and getting on with the day. My job was a large chunk of where my love went -- working with some of the most curious people, being a part of a flexible and innovative community, and learning new information and skills. Although I am not aiming to be a workaholic, it does have its perks and rewards when the going gets tough.

I also fell for the time I spent in yoga classes with funny and authentic teachers, the meals and moments I shared with friends, the quiet when I was alone and found myself reading and writing, the errands I checked off my to-do list (side note: dry cleaning feels very adult), meal prep for the week, and the discoveries I found in pockets of New York (parks and public spaces).

There is so much out there to do, and I wanted to get my fill of it with or without a partner. I say fall in love because I was infatuated with every hour of my every day. From work all day to exercise to trying new restaurants to time spent experiencing a museum to talking on the phone with my mom, I wasn't only fulfilling the iconic "work/life balance" concept, I was integrating and prioritizing the most meaningful parts of my life. I chose what served me and what didn't.

Instead of balance, which looks more like juggling and giving every part of life equal attention, I was integrating. Pieces of my life came in different shapes and sizes and took up space in my heart. Leaving behind falling in love with a person gave me the opportunity to be intentional, thoughtful, and decisive about what is a part of my life and what isn't.

When I tell life to turn right, it will likely overrule me and go in a different direction -- left, straight, or serpentine. The picture of my life only becomes clear after all is said and done. I don't make it or control it no matter how hard I try to plan and schedule.

I couldn't stop myself from falling, but I could harness and redirect the energy that came from love and use it elsewhere.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

91603
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

68352
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments