Finding Home In The Midst Of Chaos

Finding Home In The Midst Of Chaos

Whether it be two-hours away or down by the water.
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During my Freshmen year of college I would often get so flustered that I stormed out of my dorm almost every single night. I had this little place on campus that I liked to sit. Not far my from there were rocks by the pond and if you were brave enough to climb down there, you could almost pretend you were in the mountains sitting by a lake. I said "almost pretend."

So pretty much every night I would sit down there, listen to Fleetwood Mac, and watch the water while thinking to myself; "what is this all about?"

At the time I was a 19-year old insomniac, living with a broken heart, and honestly wasn't too sure about that whole college thing. I felt like I was living in a world that wasn't created in my favor. Half the time I would oversleep my alarms or forget to do an assignment. Sometimes I would lay in bed for hours recalling my last conversation with the person I missed. Other times I would just think to myself down by that water, "what am I even worth?"

One part of human life is about being lost. It is about being on an overgrown path with no map, light, or even a sense of direction. The other part of human life is what you do on that path. Do you chose to walk off the path, or stick to it and see where it ends?

For the three years that I lived on campus, I would go down to that spot. It wasn't always just me though. In the spring you could find the geese hiding down there as you had to watch for their leftovers. On a Friday night it wasn't rare to catch the party-goers taking a breather. And on full moons the water lit up in an eerie way. As I got older I quit pondering so much of my existence but other things. Why couldn't I please a specific professor? Why did every thing crumble in my hands?

Sitting on those rocks down by the water, I missed those simpler times of stressing out about a boy. Life took a much different turn that I ever saw coming. I knew what I had to do, I knew what life was all about, and I knew my self-worth. I had spent three years on this campus that I just couldn't make my home. And there I was, 21-years old and I hated everything around me. That feeling of "sticking to it and see where it ends." I knew exactly where it ended.

Four days into my Senior year of college I stormed out of my dorm so flustered that I didn't I look back. I had this little place I liked to go that was mine. Where I could listen to Fleetwood Mac as loud as I wanted and know where I belonged. Two hours from my college campus was this little spot that I had missed for three years, I called it "home."



Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Stop Discourging Future Teachers

One day, you'll be thankful for us.
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“What do you want to be when you grow up?" It seems like this is the question we heard from the time we were able to talk. Our answers started out as whatever movie or action figure was popular that year. I personally was going to be Cinderella and shoot spider webs out of my wrists at the same time. The next phase was spent choosing something that we read about in a book or saw in movies. We were aspiring to be actors, skydivers, and astronauts.

After we realized NASA may not necessarily be interested in every eager 10-year-old, we went through the unknown stage. This chapter of life can last a year or for some, forever. I personally did not have a long “unknown" stage. I knew I was going to be a teacher, more specifically I knew I wanted to do elementary or special education. I come from a family of educators, so it was no surprise that at all the Thanksgiving and Christmas functions I had actually figured it out. The excitement of knowing what to do with the rest of my life quickly grew and then began to dwindle just as fast.

“Why?"

"Well, looks like you'll be broke all your life."

“That's a lot of paperwork."

“If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't choose this."

These are just a few replies I have received. The unfortunate part is that many of those responses were from teachers themselves. I get it, you want to warn and prepare us for the road we are about to go down. I understand the stress it can take because I have been around it. The countless hours of grading, preparing, shopping for the classroom, etc. all takes time. I can understand how it would get tiresome and seem redundant. The feeling a teacher has when the principal schedules yet another faculty meeting to talk an hour on what could've been stated in an email… the frustration they experience when a few students seem uncontrollable… the days they feel inadequate and unseen… the sadness they feel when they realize the student with no supplies comes from a broken home… I think it is safe to say that most teachers are some of the toughest, most compassionate and hardworking people in this world.

Someone has to be brave enough to sacrifice their time with their families to spend time with yours. They have to be willing to provide for the kids that go without and have a passion to spread knowledge to those who will one day be leading this country. This is the reason I encourage others to stop telling us not to go for it.

Stop saying we won't make money because we know. Stop saying we will regret it, because if we are making a difference, then we won't. Stop telling us we are wasting our time, when one day we will be touching hearts.

Tell us to be great, and then wish us good luck. Tell us that our passion to help and guide kids will not go unnoticed. Tell us that we are bold for trying, but do not tell us to change our minds.

Teachers light the path for doctors, police officers, firefighters, politicians, nurses, etc. Teachers are pillars of society. I think I speak for most of us when I say that we seek to change a life or two, so encourage us or sit back and watch us go for it anyways.

Cover Image Credit: Kathryn Huffman

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14 Honest College Things The Class Of 2023 Needs To Know ~Before~ Fall Semester

Sit down, be humble.

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To The Class of 2023,

Before you start your college career, please know:

1. Nobody...and I mean nobody gives a shit about your AP Calculus scores.

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" I got a 5 in Calc AB AND BC, a 5 in AP Literature, awh but I only got a 4 in AP Chem"

2. THE SAME GOES FOR YOUR SAT/ACT SCORES + nobody will know what you're talking about because they changed the test like 10 times since.

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3. College 8 AMs are not the same as your 0 period orchestra class in 12th grade.

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4. You're going to get rejected from a lot of clubs and that does not make you a failure.

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5. If you do get into your clubs, make sure not to overwhelm or overcommit yourself.

visual representation of what it looks like when you join too many clubs

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6. It's OK to realize that you don't want to be pre-med or you want to change majors.

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7. There will ALWAYS ALWAYS be someone who's doing better than you at something but that doesn't mean you're behind.

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8. "I'm a freshman but sophomore standin-" No, you don't have to clarify that, you'll sound like an asshole.

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9. You may get your first ever B-, C+ or even D OR EVEN A W in your life. College is meant to teach you how to cope with failure.

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10. Go beyond your comfort zone. Join a theatre club if you're afraid of public speaking. Join an animal rescue club if you're afraid of animals. College is learning more about yourself.

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11. Scholarships do exist. APPLY APPLY APPLY.

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12. Don't try to brag about all the stuff you did in high school, you'll just sound like a weenie hut jr. scout

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13. Understand and be sensitive to the fact that everybody around you has a different experience and story of getting to university.

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14. You're going to be exposed to people with different opinions and views, don't fight them. Instead, try to explain your perspective and listen to their reasoning as well.

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