Finding Home In The Midst Of Chaos

Finding Home In The Midst Of Chaos

Whether it be two-hours away or down by the water.

During my Freshmen year of college I would often get so flustered that I stormed out of my dorm almost every single night. I had this little place on campus that I liked to sit. Not far my from there were rocks by the pond and if you were brave enough to climb down there, you could almost pretend you were in the mountains sitting by a lake. I said "almost pretend."

So pretty much every night I would sit down there, listen to Fleetwood Mac, and watch the water while thinking to myself; "what is this all about?"

At the time I was a 19-year old insomniac, living with a broken heart, and honestly wasn't too sure about that whole college thing. I felt like I was living in a world that wasn't created in my favor. Half the time I would oversleep my alarms or forget to do an assignment. Sometimes I would lay in bed for hours recalling my last conversation with the person I missed. Other times I would just think to myself down by that water, "what am I even worth?"

One part of human life is about being lost. It is about being on an overgrown path with no map, light, or even a sense of direction. The other part of human life is what you do on that path. Do you chose to walk off the path, or stick to it and see where it ends?

For the three years that I lived on campus, I would go down to that spot. It wasn't always just me though. In the spring you could find the geese hiding down there as you had to watch for their leftovers. On a Friday night it wasn't rare to catch the party-goers taking a breather. And on full moons the water lit up in an eerie way. As I got older I quit pondering so much of my existence but other things. Why couldn't I please a specific professor? Why did every thing crumble in my hands?

Sitting on those rocks down by the water, I missed those simpler times of stressing out about a boy. Life took a much different turn that I ever saw coming. I knew what I had to do, I knew what life was all about, and I knew my self-worth. I had spent three years on this campus that I just couldn't make my home. And there I was, 21-years old and I hated everything around me. That feeling of "sticking to it and see where it ends." I knew exactly where it ended.

Four days into my Senior year of college I stormed out of my dorm so flustered that I didn't I look back. I had this little place I liked to go that was mine. Where I could listen to Fleetwood Mac as loud as I wanted and know where I belonged. Two hours from my college campus was this little spot that I had missed for three years, I called it "home."

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Why Nursing School Friends Are So Vital

Pun intended.


When I started nursing school, I knew it would be difficult. I wasn't naive. I heard the stories. I knew what I was getting into…to a certain degree.

It was everything I thought it would be and more. The highs were higher and the lows were lower. The thing you realize quickly in nursing is that it's not something you can achieve on your own. You have to have a support system. It's how you survive. It can feel like you're on your own because you have to perform the skills and make the grades, but really, there are so many friends standing behind you pushing you through.

I've seen it over and over again. I've been a part of it, witnessed it and had help myself. The truth is, even the most intelligent students need help in some sort of way. It might be hard to realize it when you're so inwardly focused, but when you look around you, everyone is walking the same path. They just have different strengths and weaknesses. It's an incredible thing when others use their personal strengths to offset your weaknesses. Nursing friends see in you what you don't see in yourself. Nursing friends share your passions, sleepless nights, early mornings, stress, panic attacks, victories, and failures. Nursing friends are your own personal cheerleaders.

It's no secret that we deal with some pretty gross stuff. Who else can you count on when you're walking down the unit trying to find an extra pair of hands to help you change the clothes of a morbidly obese patient who's covered from shoulders to ankles in their stool? Your nursing buds.

What about when your patient goes into v-fib (ventricular fibrillation), and you need someone to relief on chest compressions? Your rock star nurse friends are there to lend a hand or two.

Or what about when you are scrubbing into a C-section for the first time and you're kind of, sort of, secretly concerned you might get queasy or faint? Your nursing squad will remind you how tough you are. They'll assist you as quickly as possible and when you are finished washing your hands a thousand times, they'll make you laugh or smile. They'll always be there to help you with dignity, support, love, and encouragement.

Your nursing friends know which supply closet you go hide in when you are about to lose it or when class is so long it's giving you a headache so they pass you some Tylenol. Nursing friends are the backbone of your nursing school experience. I always love it that whenever I need hand sanitizer, Tylenol/Advil/Motrin or even a Band-Aid, someone always has it.

Even if you don't talk every day, or you take different class times, there is always someone waving hello or asking how you're holding up. You are all so different, but at the same time, you feel like you're surrounded by so many who are just like you. They care as much as you do. They love as much as you do. And the best part? They just love you. Even on your worst days. There will be times when you trip up on the easy stuff you know that you know, but they'll be there with open arms telling you about when they were in the same place. They are the ones who “fight in the trenches" with you. They'll carry you when you can't keep going, and you'll do the same. No woman or man left behind.

Nursing friends are incredible lifelong blessings. So, remember to thank them every once in a while. Keep cheering each other on, keep fighting together and keep reminding each other that the end goal is closer than it seems.

Cover Image Credit: Maddy Cagle

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The 4 Steps for A Freshmen Internship

Freaking out about landing a summer internship? This guide is for you!


Like most freshmen, I was very so utterly lost and overwhelmed when I started to look for internships in my spring quarter of my freshmen year. Safe to say it was a very rough beginning. My resume looked awful, I didn't know handshake (UCLA's career portal) even existed, and overall did not have a clue on what I wanted to do career-wise. Fortunately, with a lot of trial and error, tears, and the help of amazing mentors and friends I was able to catch a finance internship opportunity with an EB5 company. And here are the steps I've learned in this process:


It is never too early to apply to anything! In fact, most larger companies with freshmen internship programs close their recruiting cycles early on in winter quarter. Which is why these internships tend to be less competitive because most freshmen don't know about them! Which is why you should definitely apply early on.


For resumes, I found that the most effective way to create a professional resume is to ask for help from upper-classmen friends who have experience with writing resumes. Initially, I tried following resume formats that I found online but realized that they were very disorganized and in a less appealing format to recruiters. In addition to resumes, it is so important to have a professional looking LinkedIn as it is not only a way for you to find internships, but for recruiters to reach out to you.


I, unfortunately, did not find out about my school's career portal, Handshake, until after I found an internship. It is such a great method to apply to internships since companies are specifically looking for students at your school, unlike LinkedIn where people from all schools can apply.


As most freshmen come to realize in a panic, it's very difficult to find internships that want freshmen. This is why it is so important to attend internship fairs and recruiting events. Attending these events let your campus recruiters know that you're interested in their company so that even if they are looking for upperclassmen, they will definitely notice your name on a future application. Also, these people could potentially refer you to other firms which is what fortunately happened for me. At a UCLA careers event, I talked to a recruiter who was only taking sophomores and above that year who was great enough to refer me to the EB5 company that I ended up interning at.

At the end of the day, don't stress too much on landing a summer internship freshmen year. This should be a fun experience where you get to explore career opportunities so try to enjoy the rough ride!

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